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11 wks and so confused. B.D. problems. Help!!!

5 answers
3 years ago
So my Bd and I were seeing each other everyday for abt 2 months. The first time we had sex I got pregnant. I found out a day after he left for work. With his job, he travels all year long. Like any other unplanned pregnancy, he was n shock for a while. We have had ups & downs lately. Were not officially "a couple" but have talked about it. He says he likes me so much, he even asks me to b his gf & then changes his mind. Long story short, he wants his cake and to eat it 2. he's 27 yrs old, I'm 21. He's immature, still goes out with his friends flirts with girls, & lies str8 to my face when I ask him. He acts like he cares abt this baby but doesn't know how to show it. His family is still 2gether,but my parents split when I was 8. It hasn't gave me hope 4 love or a family that won't eventually b broken. I'm scared and wish he understood more. Friends say that reality will hit him on the ultrasound, or as soon as the baby is here. I'm so stressed but hopeful, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster these past few months. Please help, I am in need of understanding advice from somebody in a similar situation.

answers (5)

3 years ago
Give him time, He will come around. My bf is 28 and he went out and took walks; he(your B.D) is just stressed. Chris(bf) relaxed and I'm 33 weeks, and he is happy and never leaves my side now. He just needs to get over the shock, i know it's hard, i'd wake up and he'd be gone, just give him some time. Hope it helps..
3 years ago
While he may just very well need time to adjust and sink in the news, plan for the worst just in case. The only people in the world you can count on is your and your baby. Give him time and try not to force it on him. I hope for the best for you!
3 years ago
Thank u for the advice. I'm trying my best to be patient. I haven't spoke to him in over a week now. He hasnt even called. And it's Christmas. Idk if it's all the hormones and I'm over reacting, but I'm really hurt. He's so on and off with me. He alienates me from his life. Should I try harder or just give up?
3 years ago
Try doing adoption counsiling. Even if you aren't considering adoption, it's free. Standard adoption counsiling gives you a chance to talk to someone neutral and go over all your options. You would do worksheets that help you plan out several different scenerios. Adoption agencies that are trying to prevent abortions usually will bend over backward to help you in every way possible and consider you a success story no matter what happens as long as the baby lives, this can include maternity clothing, help with rent, transportation, or whatever other issues you may face. I've done this myself, and ended up keeping the baby and raising him. The adoption agency never made me feel bad or guilty and never tried to pressure me.
2 years ago
There's a saying that goes, "A woman becomes a mother as soon as she's pregnant, a man becomes a father after the baby is born." Your boyfriend could be like that. Or, he may just be immature. Only time will tell.

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