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daddy help..

7 answers
3 years ago
I'm pregnant with my first child and my fiance is really stressed out because he thinks everything is his duty and he thinks his parents are putting alot of pressure on him because they are giving him advice and such on being prepared for the big change. I want him to be with me more because he is the only person keeping me from being depressed. Alot of my friends bailed, my family is in chaos, and I have tons of classes and appts. I don't want to do it alone and I try explaining to him, but he just wants to be with his friends. It's hard for me cause then I feel like I have no one and I sit him down and try talking to him, but it always ends up in a fight. I can't go out and do anything because I have so much I have to do and I think that since it's OUR child and not just mine he should be involved more. He's starting to get harder and harder to communicate with and thinks I'm being controlling because I would like him around more often than not. I don't care if he goes out with friends every now and then, but I need him too. I'm beginning to feel like he doesn't care and isn't there for me anymore. He doesn't understand my side, only his and I don't get how to make it clear so he can understand. He's not a bad guy at all, but the unplanned pregnancy is really getting to him. He's super excited, but scared too. One of his friends tried talking him into telling me to get an abortion!! How horrible:(( Fortunately my fiance wants this baby more than anything and told me were in it together and he already loves his baby. I don't want to push him away, but can you tell why I'm not exactly crazy about him being with his friends 24/7 besides the fact that I really need the support? How can I explain to him that I need him to help me out, but not seem like I want to control his life? HELP ME PLEASE:((??

answers (7)

3 years ago
My boyfriend only goes out once in a while, and when he does i get all nervous. If you say he wants the baby but goes out then he's having a really hard time, try not acting like you care, if that doesn't help then try just bringing him to ALL of your appts, even if he complains, my BF got a wake up call when we first heard our sons heart beat. He hardly goes out any more, and i know how you feel, i can't do anything, because i have no friends. Also try asking him to tell you how he feels about it, sit down with him and just listen it helps alot. Hope this helps :) GoodLuck.
3 years ago
Thankyou :) I will definitely try it out. Goodluck to you too!
3 years ago
well, not all your friends bailed. i've been trying to invite you over and i've been texting to see how you are all the time and it has nothing to do with the baby its because you are my best friend and i care. i understand you are busy, but i've been available to you whenever you need me. and as far as keith goes, yeah hes gunna be into being with his friends, hes scared and hes a teen boy thats normal, but he will soon realize his life is not gunna get to stay that way. he will grow up and learn to focus on his new family but both of you should be understanding of each other and let each other see their friends. you are only like 7 weeks pregnant, theres still plenty of time. have as much fun as you guys can. you wont lose ALL your freedom but you will lose some, a lot really. i understand your feelings but you arent alone, you both will need to make compromises. he cant spend all of his time with his friends now that hes gunna be a dad but should still have some time seeing as how a lot of that will change when the baby is born. you do the same. when you have free time use it how you want to. i'm sorry if this isnt what you needed to hear, but i wanted to help cuz i know you're really stressed out. i love you.
3 years ago
I think part of the problem might be that he is still young and friends are important to guys at an early adulthood age. If you feel that you are pushing him away more by telling him to stay in with you more, I suggest you try something else. Try going on dates or doing fun, easy activities that wont take a toll on you. I do agree that he has to be with you now more than ever but give him some time to come around. His parents pressure and his friends looks like it's taking a toll on him.
3 years ago
I suggest printing this question out and giving it to him.  You made your point clear, without pointing fingers.  Maybe if he reads it, he'll understand you a bit better.
3 years ago
im 16 and pregnant and it was stressful when i first found out and i know how the first few months go but im 22 weeks now and i manage to keep a b average at school hang w the friends adviod my step dad 9who told me to get an abortion before i ever told anyone else even my fiance) and even talk to matthew (my baby boy who is due in march) evernight. you will get a schedule in a few weeks that the baby goes by and you just follow thier lead....things get easier if you just sit down and think of the baby and not all the dr appiontment or other things. it alll falls into place. :) good luck!...oh and give you guy time...my fiance was like that at first but now i live with him and things are really way better....just dont give up on him yet!
3 years ago
hes just feeling like hes being ganged up on in a way. that is if he read our comments, but i'm sure like Jess said he will come around. keith loves you to death, anyone who's ever seen you knows that. good luck girl and i'm happy for you, everything is going to go beautifully for you, its just gunna be tough these few months while you figure stuff out. you've got people around you praying and what not. just take a few deep breaths and know that you're going to have a beautful baby to love forever and nothing in this world compares to that feeling crystal. trust me, you'll be so full of love for that baby, even when things are tough as parenting can be, you'll be okay in the end. you're a strong girl. and these women on this site are amazing to talk to as you know, they know their stuff and can totally understand you're feelings.

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