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Help with Mother-in-law

Relationships

Help with Mother-in-law

Just as a quick set up...my Mother-in-law is a beautiful person with good intentions and a giving heart. There was strain in the relationship with MIL and DH where there was no contact for months. Low and behold we came up pregnant so MIL and DH set their differences aside for the sake of the baby. I refused to get envolved with the issues and sat quietly on the sidelines during their spat. Here's the issue: Everytime I enter the home of my in laws, MIL comes racing over to me screaming and grabbing my non-existent belly. This makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable and often times I take a step back and hold my tummy. I'm trying to politely show that I'm uncomfortable but its not very effective. I have a hard time not being "asked" to be touched and I know this problem is only going to get worse once I really start showing. What should I do? OR Do I just need to get over it? I understand this is the first grandchild and my in laws have been waiting some 5 years for him/her but does that mean my body is now public property?
asked by CALIMOM1 2 years 36 weeks ago
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answers (4)
by cleighty submitted 2 years 36 weeks

No your body is not public property! If your uncomfortable with her doing that you need to tell her. Even with it being the first grandbaby it is inappropriate for her to be touching you without your permission especially if it makes you uncomfortable. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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by jeanie sandlin submitted 2 years 36 weeks

you need to make it clear that you dont want to be touched. i have had times when i have had to stand up for that my self. just look her in the eye and state " i dont like to be touched" i did that and this pregnancy not one person has touched me with out permission. she may not like it at first but when the baby kicks and you envite her to feel she will be even more excited.

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by MOMMYOFZOO submitted 2 years 36 weeks

Unfortunately even though your body isn't public property once you get pregnant most people think it is. Especially family members. I really don't like to be touched so when I was pregnant with my first baby and my mom wanted to touch me all the time it drove me crazy. I know that's awful and all because she's my mom but I couldn't stand it. I understand how hard it can be to speak up and tell people to back off. I didn't do it. I just got really annoyed every time which probably hurt her feelings. It didn't stop her but it slowed her down some. I would ask her not to be like that if I were in your situation. It will make things easier in the long run. I would try to be very nice and hope for the best. Good luck.

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by KAITLYNKRISTINE submitted 2 years 36 weeks

I think MILs are difficult altogether.  I am always so worried that mine will think less of me for one reason or another.  But it is better to address things now, especially when the baby isn't there yet, then after the baby is born.  You may find yourself in a situation that you don't like it when she refers to YOUR child as "my baby."  And with the baby you may be a bit more on edge or defensive and inclined to snap back rather than calmly explain yourself. 

It's great that people are excited for you, but setting boundries now will make things more comfortable later.  She may be just as worried about offending you as you are of offending her.  Be nice about it but firm, so she knows you mean business :)

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