my boyfriend and I are having our first child. our families are both upset and both want us to marry as soon as possible....

My husband and I had the same problem, I was sixteen at the time.  I listened to my parents and after our marriage got off to a horrible start my parents were begging me to get a divorce. I told them that I take my vows seriously and stuck to my guns this time.  We have been married for six years now.  My point is you have to do what is best for you and the baby. Don't let anyone else talk you into something you have to live with.

I would suggest telling your boyfriend how you feel. I would suggest not getting married because your families want you too. My husband and I didn't get married until our daughter was 1 and 1/2. I wouldn't suggest rushing into marriage until you are sure, don't get married because you feel you have to for the baby. Do what you feel is right.

My boyfriend and I are currently in that same situation.  We both love eachother and are happy with where we are in life, but we weren't ready to get married before we found out that we were pregnant, so we both strongly feel that a baby is NOT a reason to get married.  What's most important is that the child has a loving home and two loving parents.  Both of our parents want us to get married, but it's not their life to live.  Times have changed!  But you should definitely talk to your boyfriend about your concerns about being "the one"  because even if you live together for the next 5 years, marriage will still change the dynamic down the road.

I had the same problem... I'm the oldest of all the kids- oldest daughter, neice, grandchild... yet I'm too 'young' to be considered an adult to them [for God's sake- I'm 24!]. 

No one had any encouraging words for my husband [boyfriend at the time], other than to go get married- real quick... I gave them the mental finger because I was so mad at all of them [big family].  We knew we wanted to be together, an ended up getting engaged when our first was only 6 weeks old. 

First, as much as you love them, screw the family!  Rushing marriage is the worst thing you can do.  Second, tell your man how you feel... he may ease up and change his mind through the pregnancy- that's what mine did.  You're probably pretty emotional right now due to the hormones, but try to think about what you want to say before you say anything to anyone, just to try and keep things civil [lol]. 

What matters most is the two of you being a happy, functioning couple... others can tell you what they think is best, but at the end of the day, who's lying by your side?

I've heard way too many stories about people getting pregnant, then married because that's apparently the 'right' thing to do for a baby.  I want to clarify that no matter what, you are both this child's parents.  That will never change.  The best thing you can do is have a healthy relationship with the baby's other parent, no matter if you are 'together' or just sharing parenting duties on a schedule.

I say this because my parents divorced when I was 8 or so, and for the most part they got along.  It was fabulous how they treated each other - it taught me a lot about how a decent person should treat others.  I got a rad stepfamily, too.  

On the other side of the coin, my fiance' went through a terrible divorce - his ex-wife is completely insane and tries to turn their toddler against him.  The little guy is always confused - he knows he loves Dada and me (stepmom), but doesn't know why his mom always tells him that we're terrible people.  I've given up on this woman ever learning that she can't 'ruin' us, so I'm pretty much expecting her BS to wreck her own relationship with her child.

So, all in all, don't get married until you BOTH feel you are entirely committed to each other.  If your family holds that against you, they aren't thinking in your best interest - they're thinking in the best interest of 'upholding the family name,' which actually isn't worth anything these days.