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12 wks preg. How do i prepare my 2 yr old for a new baby?

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12 wks preg. How do i prepare my 2 yr old for a new baby?

I've been a stay at home mom since my son was born, so he's used to being with me 24/7. He's very much a "momma's boy". I'm worried how he'll adjust to having to share his mommy. Not to mention, remembering how much time and energy it takes to care for a newborn, i'm worried I wont have enough time and or energy left for my (very energetic) 2 yr old. So, I guess I actually have 2 questions: how do i prepare him, and how do i juggle it all???
asked by alishac 2 years 13 weeks ago
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answers (7)
by Redstilts submitted 2 years 13 weeks

You are stating what I've wondered myself when I decide to go for my second baby. :)

I have heard that getting your son involved often helps. Make him feel like he had important imput in the planning. Plan out baby names (he might come up with a good one), help him prepare a baby room or clean out a spot in his room if he is sharing.

I don't think this is the perfect answer because children's worlds revolve around them for a few years, but if you can make him feel like you really need his help and imput I think it will go smoother.

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by mommaduck submitted 2 years 13 weeks

When we were pregnant with our second, we talk about "baby" to him and explained that baby's in tummy (however you want to explain that). He'd kiss the "baby", which was my belly, and I'd always ask him what he thought of names. But all and all he didn't really care that much. The only difference is that he's a mellow and gentle child. When the baby was born he didn't want anything to do with his baby brother. You need to take it one step and day at a time.

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by Momof4hunts submitted 2 years 13 weeks

Buy a realistic baby doll that he can help you care for like a real baby. Use it to teach him how to treat the baby and pretend that it's real--let it do things that a real newborn would.

Also, arrange for someone else to watch him, or set up situations where he plays on his own or with other children while you do other things. This will get him used to being independent of you before the new baby gets here.

Thirdly, ask for help!! Make sure you get plenty of rest after the baby arrives, and get others to help take care of the baby (you'll have no trouble finding takers--I promise!) while you spend special time with your toddler.

Don't worry, it won't always be easy, but everything will work out fine!

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by Momof4hunts submitted 2 years 13 weeks

I meant to add that you should try to expose him to as many pictures, videos, and real babies as you can while you're pregnant so that he can comprehend what a baby is. Lots of toddlers are totally caught off guard, because they don't understand that there's going to be a living, breathing human being sharing their space! :)

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by LOVEMYTHREEGIRLS submitted 2 years 13 weeks

All good suggestions so far. We've been through this a couple times, we're expecting baby #4 in a few months and my oldest is only 3 1/2. Preparing toddlers is difficult because they just don't get it until it happens, really. Show him babies, and show him the nursery, or wherever you have set up for the baby. Show him that there is "baby's place" and "his place", that he is not being displaced.

No matter how well you prepare, there will be some digresion with him after the baby is born in some area; potty accidents, waking up at night, needing extra "hold me!" time, something. Be prepared for it and don't get too angry with him. Yes, a newborn is a lot of work and needs a lot of attention, but not as much communication and interaction as a toddler. Don't feel bad if you nurse the baby with one arm and read stories to him with the other.  The older ones do get more interested in the babies after a few months when they start to actually play and are more than just a crying, eating, pooping anoyance.

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by LOVEMYTHREEGIRLS submitted 2 years 13 weeks

Oh, and how do you juggle it all? My answer: chocolate. :)

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by mnm1311 submitted 2 years 13 weeks

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My son is 2 and I am 16 weeks along my husband and I have been talking to him about the baby from the beginning. I have discussed names with him and I show him the weekly updates so he can see how the baby is growing in my belly even though he can't see the baby. He is very excited about the baby and talks the baby almost every day. He tells the baby that he will teach it how to count and the ABC's and how to tickle daddy. We involve him in every step from ultrasound to hearing the heartbeat and reading to the baby. This seems to be working so far I think that he understands pretty well seeing the change in the pictures and me. I hope this helps good luck.

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