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2 year old asks for something, but won't take it!?

Behavior

2 year old asks for something, but won't take it!?

My 2 year old girl will ask for something like milk or snack, and then when we try to hand it to her, she won't take it. She just sits there quietly not responding. Then, when we put whatever it is back down, she throws a tantrum. Usually, we just put her in time-out or let her throw the fit, but it's actually becoming worse. Is there anything I can do to stop this behavior?
asked by bholzer 2 years 5 weeks ago
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answers (3)
by bbane22 submitted 2 years 4 weeks

My son is almost three and does the same thing, so when he asks for something and then says no, I put it up and I wont give it to him no matter how hard he crys, after about 10 mins I will ask him if he wants it again and sometimes it takes about 30 mins to an hour for him to finally take it. He is starting to learn when he asks for something thats what he gets and if he dont want it I wont give it too him. Really does work and I know it sounds a little mean since they are that little.

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by Turcoise submitted 2 years 4 weeks

Another option wouldbe to set up a snack table ie a place where she is expected to eat her snack then rather than hand them to her place them at the table this will allow her to get it when she deems she is ready and avoid the power struggle you are dealing with now

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by Aegis submitted 2 years 4 weeks

Oh yes... I remember going through this with my son, and I'm sure I'll be going through it again with my daughter! 

At this point, (and I could be totally wrong) I think it's probably a control issue for your daughter.  She knows what's going to happen when she asks for something, and she knows what will happen when she refuses it.  Maybe next time she asks for something like milk, you can offer some choices like, "Do you want your milk in this cup or that cup?" "Are you going to drink your milk here or there?"  Make the choices something YOU want to happen, but let her feel like she has control by giving her choices.  If she doesn't make a choice in 15 seconds, nicely inform her that you'll decide for her, "If you're not sure, I'll decide for you."  If she tries to insert her own options, let her know that that isn't an option and repeat the two choices you gave, "That's not one of the options right now.  You can choose this cup or that cup."

I love doing this with my son.  When he doesn't want to leave somewhere (like his grandparents' house), I ask "Do you want to leave in 5 minutes or 10 minutes?"  Even though he doesn't even want to leave, he'll pick a time (it's always 10 minutes lol) and we leave right at 10 minutes.  Works wonderfully!

Good luck!

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