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almost 4 year old doesnt like/respect mom? PLZ HELP getting desperate!

7 answers
2 years ago
My son B is going to turn 4 this summer. & ive always thought hes a very good boy. He behaves pretty very well in public & at other peoples homes & has only thrown 3 fits in public ever. For the most part hes always behaved very well when we go to other peoples homes & im there too or in public with me & other person(s). But more & more & more hes no longer behaving well for me. Hes defiant, disprespectful, refuses almost always to listen when i tell him what to do, he sometimes even acts like he doesnt hear me. But there are some times when he is a wonderful lil guy again & is helpful to me with things & with his baby sister who is 6 months old. He absolutely loves his sister so much. He loves to give her hugs & kisses & show her his toys, show her how to do things & try to entertain her. So im completely dumbfounded when he misbehaves toward her! Sometimes he is too rough with her even though he knows & seems to understand that shes fragil & he can break her. Hes too wild & crazy when shes on the floor trying to play & stuff. Earlier tonight he actually jumped off her diaper box onto her hand! (thankfully shes ok.) He said it was an accident & i understand that accidents happen but i feel like im always having to gaurd her like a hawk to protect her. The thing that bewilders me the most is that 3 different times now ive caught him spitting on her! I can not understand this at all since he loves her sooo much & it definitely shows. Another thing that i dont understand is that my husband says he is a completely different kid when im not around & that there are no behavior problems like what I am forced to deal with 24/7. PLEASE if youve been through anything like all of thisor some of this or have anything that might help me PLEASE share. Im now at the end of my rope & have no idea what to do to help not just me but my son & our family as a whole. p.s. sooo sorry this is stupidly long.

answers (7)

2 years ago
This sounds like pretty normal behavior. The best thing you can do is to give him as much one on one time as you can. Since he's a little bit older it's going to be a little more difficult for him to adjust to having a sibling. If you're worried about her safety, put her in a play pen. I have mine set up and I put my baby's play mat in it so that she can play without getting run over by my 2 and 3 1/2 year olds. It's also totally normal for kids to behave better for other people. I know my husband doesn't have the same issues I have with my kids.
2 years ago
wow its nice to know that i'm not the only one wha has delt with something like this. I do usually put the baby in a play pen or in her jumperoo to keep her safe from B but he still tries to get to her mainly when i'm not in the room. He like to stand on his tippy toes & lean as far over the edge as he can to try to get to her. & i've come back to the living room with B about tipping the play pen over. He knows hes not suppose to be doing this naughty things cuz when he sees me he runs away or something. & I wasnt sure that he was having a hard time adjusting to hos baby sister because she's just over 6 months old & these problms haven't been happening that long. I'd say he's been acting like this for about 4 months now. thank you for your help. I do try to spend one on one time with him & he mainly likes 'having boy time' as he calls it, with his daddy. any other thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated!
2 years ago
wow its nice to know that i'm not the only one wha has delt with something like this. I do usually put the baby in a play pen or in her jumperoo to keep her safe from B but he still tries to get to her mainly when i'm not in the room. He like to stand on his tippy toes & lean as far over the edge as he can to try to get to her. & i've come back to the living room with B about tipping the play pen over. He knows hes not suppose to be doing this naughty things cuz when he sees me he runs away or something. & I wasnt sure that he was having a hard time adjusting to his baby sister because she's just over 6 months old & these problms haven't been happening that long. I'd say he's been acting like this for about 4 months now. thank you for your help. I do try to spend one on one time with him & he mainly likes 'having boy time' as he calls it, with his daddy. any other thoughts or suggestions would be much appreciated!
2 years ago
Kids often don't understand exactly what it means to get a new sibling right away. And since babies sleep so much in the first month or two it takes time for them to see just how much time and attention a new baby takes away from them. My baby is 4 months old and my 2 year old son was totally fine at first. But he has started acting out a little bit. He's thrown a block at her head. Most of the time he's good with her, though.One of the best things you can do is to have him be your helper. Little kids love helping out in any way they can. Throwing away dirty diapers, bringing clean ones, finding blankets, pacifiers, or bottles when you need them, etc. Helping makes them feel special and appreciated. It makes them less like to have jealousy issues. Also, try to take your baby with you when you can. I know it seems silly if you're just going to the bathroom for a minute, but sometimes it's necessary. Chances are that once your daughter is sitting up, crawling, and really playing with toys your son will be more enthusiastic about her. Once they can play they can start to become friends.
2 years ago
Ok thank you! I do try already to get him to be Mommys Big Helper Boy. But a lot of the time he just says no, comes up with excuses like hes too tired, he didnt sleep good last night, hes too busy or he just doesnt want to. I knew all through out my pregnancy with my daughter that i needed to include him as much as possible & have him help me lots so he felt needed & not in the way. & i had a ton of people tell me that would help him. So I dont understand why he usually doesnt want to help very much anymore. & taking the baby with, even if its just to the bathroom doesnt seem silly at all. I do that already quite a bit & did it wih my son too even though there wasnt a sibling in the house when he was a baby. I did it just bcausehe spit up a ton! & would choke on it sometimes & it would even come out his nose. so doing all kinda of things with a baby is nothing new. anyway i really hope that once she starts crawling & they can play more he gets better, she is getting really close. but im not really too hopeful. my uncle has 4 kids & with his the older sibling was not too thrilled when the baby started crawling around taking their toys. anyway thank you again.
2 years ago
Age and gender do play a big role in whether or not siblings will get along. My husband has a sister who is 4 1/2 years younger than him. They never got along. They didn't become friends until they were adults. My kids all love each other, but there is less than 2 years between each of them. I do worrya botu how my girls will get along as they start getting older. 3 1/2 years between them might prevent them from staying close as my older one gets close to 10. I've seen it happen with other girls, but maybe since my son is between them they'll all just stay close.It can be tough having more than one child. Hang in there. Hopefully their relationship will get better as your daughter gets older. As she gets older you can come up with games and activities that they can both play/do, and hopefully that will help.
2 years ago
Thank you so much! at least now i know theres hope things will get better between them & hopefully some of my sanity will return.

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