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Boyfriend v Babydaddy v Me

1 answers
1 year ago
I have a daughter and it took time for her father and I to be civil after our break up. We had been friends for many years before we got together. We had a nasty custody case and grew from it. We aren't as close as we were before, but we still do talk about our daughter and keep each other in the loop with what's going on in our lives that effect our daughter, but nothing more then that. We don't call or text each other about random things. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 months and he absolutely cannot stand that my daughters dad and I talk as much as we do, even though from my perspective we don't talk at all unless it's in passing of our child or via a text for babysitter or change of pick up locations. Even more so it's gotten to where anything my boyfriend and I talk about if it can be linked to my ex, frustrates and infuriates him. It's down to any conversation. The other day we pulled off the road while on a road trip to stretch and sitting on the shoulder of the exit ramp with our hazards on I made the remark, "I'm surprised no one has stopped to ask us if we are ok." He went, "Most people don't." I went, "People always have stopped when it was just me." "He went, "Most people don't care if there's a man present." I went, "I've never stopped for a hitchhiker, but I think that's a guy thing to do...My brother and My ex ( except I used their names ) used to tell me stories about picking them up all the time. " He went, "You always have to do that don't you, it's always about him isn't it? Every time, is he always on your mid that much that you can't talk to me without bringing him up in every conversation." I just got back in the car and sat there until he got back in. I don't understand I guess how I am ruining all these moments by simply relating via memories. Now this has ruined our sex life as well because he's convinced that I am thinking about other people while with him, which is far from true. How do I help him not take what I say so personally? How can I tell him any more then I have that I grew up with her dad, most of what I know in silly day to day life is from my daughters dad and his friends and I can't unlearn memories and if I can't relate them to what I know I might as well never speak which is also an issue with us. If I don't talk to him I'm just as guilty and "bad".

answers (1)

1 year ago
Anyone you choose to be with has to be ok with your past. We all have past relationships and things we did before we were with the person we're with. It's a fact of life. If he can't me mature enough to understand that, it's his problem, and you shouldn't have to deal with it. You need to be with someone who can respect the fact that you have a child with someone else. It sounds like that is just something your boyfriend can't deal with. And if that's the case, he's not the right person for you. Your ex is a part of your life and always will be. You can't forget about him completely and you shouldn't have to watch every single thing you say to make sure it doesn't bother your boyfriend.

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