I have a 1 year old and the subject of having another is starting to creep up in my mind. I love my son and want to enjoy him as much as I can before we expand our family, but I can't help feeling anxious over the idea of having another. My son was born 3 weeks early as they had to induce me as they believed I was showing the early signs of preeclampsia. Also, no one in my family had been able to carry a single baby boy to term. My mother's first child was stillborn, a boy. With that family history I think the doctors were very cautious.I did not have high expectations for my delivery. I just wanted both of us to be happy and healthy, but I wanted to do it vaginally and I wanted to nurse him. Well unfortunately, I could not do either. I ended up having an emergency c-section and I didn't start even producing milk until he was a week old. I had him latched on when he was 30 minutes old, like a dream but my body just wouldn't give him anything. I tried for about a month, pumping every 4 hours or so. Tried herbal tea, meds to try to start lactation, but nothing worked. I was only getting about 10ml combined every 4 hours at most. I gave him what I could, but when your baby is hungry and you can't meet his needs...I was just so heart broken. Between the c-section and not being able to really nurse him I felt/ feel like a failure. So my question, Should I even try to nurse with the next baby or should I just avoid the mental/ emotional havoc and yield to the bottle? I can not express how much of a failure I felt not being able to do the two things I felt should be instinctual.