You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.
 
Ask a Question

childs last name change

3 answers
3 years ago
I have a question. I have daughter who will be 5 in a few weeks. while i was pregnant with her her dad would call me W*** B**** S***, that baby isnt mine he would say that all the time he would even go to the dr appt and when the nurse or dr wasnt in the room he would tell me those things also. When i had her the next day the nurses told me that i needed to fill out the birth certificate so i was tempted to put her last name as his but then i thought about how he was through out my pregnancy and how he said the baby wasnt his. so i put her last name as mine. i listed my name as the mother and his name as the father. that afternoon he showed and i told him to look at that paper and sign it he did and signed it knowing her last name was mine . He didnt say anything to me about it. a month and a half later he filed for paternity. She was his and they started the child support. he was mad he said i should only get 50 dollers if that. well then he ended up getting a domestic charge against me so the judge game me sole custody and he got supervised visits he was very inconsitant with the visitation. lets put it this way last year he had 110 available visits and showed for 44 of them, thats what type of track record he has had for basically 5 years. in jan of this year we went to court now i have to take her to him everyday i go to work and he gets all day fri and sat. she started pooping and peeing he pants and he brings her home to me like that each time. I know one time he brought her home peed and she was like that for 3 hours he admitted to me himself. i tried to talk to him about this issue and how i think she is having problems i tried telling him what problems she was having and he just laughed at me. so i spoke to her dr about this and she said get her in some play theropy. so i told him about that and all he said was hmm. a few days later i also got myself in theropy so that way i can learn how to help her cope with this issue i asked him if he would concider going also and he said no i asked why and he said if she has a problem its your fault. well i then found out that he wasnt givng her perscribed medication which is asthma medication i asked him about it and he said yeah im not giving it to her and walked off. Well now i got to go to court this month because he wants to change her last name to his. I think that is wrong i dont think that it would be a benifit to her or him because for one thing she isnt a boy so she wont be carrying his name on she will most likely get married and change it anyway. so i think this is just a waist of money and time. I also think this is about control he is all about control. I also think it should be her choice when she is 12 or so if she wants to change her last name. i was told that they will hyphenate is last name and just add it. i dont like that eather just for the fact that it will be so long. what do you think i need some advise on what to do and what will most likely happen

answers (3)

3 years ago
You should take him to court and turn him in for neglect, tell them about him bringing her home with poop and pee all over her and that he even admitted himself she had been that way for hours and also that he will not give her meds to her. This is a serious issue I dont know how you even let her leave with that man at all to be honest, if he brings her home to you like that how do you think she is being treated when she is with him? Think about it. And as far as the name changing thing goes I would not let that fly!
3 years ago
i agree with octobermom, i don't know how you can stand to leave her with him. my heart goes out to your child, and you as well. however, you really need to consider excluding him from your life, and also your child's for good. it would be the best thing for both of you. i can only imagine what the poor girl endures while under his so-called care.
3 years ago
The problem is, is he has rights and obviously have no option about her going over there. My 3 year olds dad isn't so bad but he is never around when she needs him, and has no clue how to take care of her. So I really feel your pain. As far as the last name, I was told that the last name, unless for some extreme circumstance will not be changed. So you may not need to worry at all about it. As for the other stuff, document everything find a jurnal and write it all down even little things that don't seem to matter to much. Find a decent lawyer (some will do it for cheaper if you really explain your circumstance) and you may be able to go back to supervised visits. However you will probably never be able to rid him of your lifes and for your daughters sake I hope he grows up and learns how to care for his daughter.

Vertical Tabs

*DISCLAIMER
Parenting.com's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use