please go see your doctor. with my first i was dealing with depression. we figured, i was pregnant, it was normal, it'll all get better once the baby comes. maybe for some, but i wasn't so lucky. actually, i got pregnant very quickly after i gave birth and everything pretty much stayed the same, but everyone just said 'oh pregnancy'. eventually i went to my doctor. i was dealing with post-partum depression (which can start before you have the baby!) it's a scary thing (i know, i was there). but you can get help. it's easy to get down on yourself, i know i did. i thought i was a bad mom b/c i wasn't super excited to have a baby. even once the first two were born they were wonderful, but i wasn't happy. and i felt bad about not being happy. but my doctor helped. letting people around me know helped, b/c then they knew what to do. don't let it go on. please. for such a long time i didn't understand why life was so hard and how people could be happy so easily. but life can come back. joy can erupt out of nowhere (really! i promise!). so talk to your doctor. it can make all the difference.