Four year old son's tantrums

i disagree. my son is two, almost three and he knows how to pick out his own clothes(where they are in his dresser, that he needs pants, shirt, socks, and shoes) every night. he knows how to put his clothes on including his jacket and hat.

maybe you need to give yourself a wider routine.

ayden's routine: after he eats breakfast he has thirty minutes to get dressed. he can watch mickey mouse during this time if he wants but he needs to be getting dressed. if he still isnt ready after thirty minutes the he gets a five minute warning. if he still isnt dressed after five minutes then he goes to time out with his clothes(taking him away from mickey mouse). this      puts us 25 mins before we need to leave. 15 minutes before we need to leave we give him his shoes and jacket and hat to put on. if this is a time-out day and he didnt put(for example) his shoes on then it goes with us and he goes back to time out at babysitter until he puts it on.

now this has happened maybe twice because most of the time the threat of time-out is enough to get the clothes on and in the winter this doesnt work, so we put it on and then he still goes to time-out for two minutes at babysitters for not doing what he was told.

also, we do help him once he has tried, like if he trys to put his shoes on but they go on the wrong feet(which only happens once every couple of weeks as this is  usually because he is distracted.)

im all for picking battles, but indepenance isnt something you shouldnt fight. if you know he can do it then make him do it, if he isnt ready then dont push it on him.