i have a 2 year old and a 3 and a half year old, both girls. my older went thru "terrible twos" but it was nothing compared to my current 2 yr old. she turned 2 a little more than two months ago, and the tantrums have started like clockwork. she is unreasonable, uncontrollable, and it is nearly impossible to calm her down. she cries when a show on TV ends, gets very upset and you can't calm her for 20 minutes. every time we pull in the driveway its full-scale meltdown and she refuses to get out her car seat. i dread taking them places because when its time to leave, i know there might be a scene. anyway time-out works well with my older child, and let me agree that being consistent is key, or it really doesn't work. but my 2 yr old scoffs at time-out; will even go voluntarily and smile at me defiantly. i have tried putting her in her room, and this seems to be more effective, because she is taken out of the environment. she has to stay for 2 minutes. if she is in meltdown mode i say to her, "you are mad, aren't you? you weren't ready to get out of the car, were you? i know, you were having fun and you weren't ready to stop. i'm sorry. but now its time to do something different so we can do more fun things." sometimes this helps, not always. sometimes i have her say, "i'm mad!" instead of crying and this sometimes helps her put words to her feelings. i think for them it must be very frustrating - they are aware of all these things, want to do and have control of so much in their lives, but are not able to. nor are they able to articulate all of these powerful emotions they are having. they don't know how to communicate it. honestly, if it were me i might flail around on the floor kicking and screaming too! as for spanking, i have been at my limit and popped both girls once or twice in their lives. but what i notice is that they hit each other more if they get popped. i think it teaches them that it is ok to hit, and its hard to teach kids to "do as i say, not as i do". they are imitators. i think in extreme situations there are times when it may be appropriate, but in our house it isn't our main avenue of discipline. time-out i find to be much more effective and positive. and sometimes for my 2 yr old i just have to walk away and let her cry it out. this stops me from losing my temper and usually in about 20 minutes she will be much more calm. spanking a child who is having a temper tantrum has got to be even scarier for them - put yourself in their situation. feeling all of that loss of control and confusion and anger and then getting smacked on top of that? that's got to be hard. and my kids are very well-behaved for the most part. in public people are always commenting on how polite and well-behaved they are. the bottom line is that 2 is a very tough age. it requires patience and understanding from you, and it can be very hard. but it does get better. consistency, consistency, consistency. never give in. stand your ground. be strict. don't let her get away with anything. and she will start to realize who is in charge. for aggressive behavior such as biting, i think she should go straight to her room for 2 to 4 minutes. no warnings or questions asked. sorry this is so long but i hope it helps! good luck!