You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.
 
Ask a Question

HELP DONT KNW WHAT TO DO WITH MY 2 YEAR OLD !!

11 answers
3 years ago
I have a 2 year old daughter and she was such a nice calm little girl ..!! and for about a month now she crys and throws her self on the floor for anything specially if i dont give her what she wants, she bites and hits other kids includeing me daddy and family ..!! she also crys everytime i say NO ...!! I tell her dont touch and she still does it...!! and to be honest i tried spanking her but shell want to hit me back ..!! I tryed putting her in time out and she wont stay ..!! i take her to the store and if she wants a toy and i dont buy it shell scream as loud as she can and honestly i hate that ...!!! its soo wiierd because she wasnt like that ..!! I dnt understand why this change..? My mom thought i could have been pregnant because acording to her some kids get like this when moms are pregnant, but ive already toke a pregnancy test and its negative ... pls help me any advice is apriciated...!!

answers (11)

3 years ago
Time out is tough, but if you stick to it, it almost always gets the point across. If she breaks a rule give her a warning if it's a minor offence hitting is a stright to time-out kind of thing in my house so say " I asked you not to open the fridge, next time you will go to timeout."  when she does it again lead her to a designated spot ( we use the fireplace, no toys are around it and it's easy to see from anywhere in the front of my house) Get down to eye level and say "mommy told you not to open the fridge and you didn't listen, you have two minutes in time-out." If she runs off calmly take her back to the spot with out saying anything. It sounds like your daughter is going through a normal stage in an extreme way, so you really have to stick with consistant rules as tiring as it gets to repeat your self.
3 years ago
it's normal behavior at this age. that doesn't mean that it's appropriate, though. she's asserting her indpendence, and seeing what she can get away with. do you give in to her tantrums? doing it just one time can make her think that's all she has to do to get what she wants. set boundaries. stick to the time out. spank her if you feel the need. tell her in a simple way that her behavior is not going to get her anywhere with you. when my daughter (21 months) throws a fit, i get on her eye level and say, "that is uncalled for, Paisley. stop it now." and i walk away. it works every time. i say it in a firm tone, i don't yell or scream. i hope this helps.
3 years ago
My cousin does time-outs for her 20-month-old son and it works like a charm. You have to stick with it, though! She says to him when he starts to act up, "If you don't stop you will be in timeout." Sometimes he stops and sometimes he keeps going. If he keeps going automatic time-out, no exceptions. If you threaten time-out, you have to follow-through with time-out. No yelling necessary. She makes him sit with his face turned towards the wall. She usually waits until he calms down if he is crying, and then she tells him he can get up if he decides he wants to behave. Whenever he is over at my grandma's, he can go around the room and point at things he knows he is not allowed to play with and he says, "no no! Timeout!" So, I think it works. Plus it is non-violent. No spanking, no yelling.
3 years ago
thankx girls ...!! im going to try all of this i really hope it helps before she drives me cracy ...!
3 years ago
Whatever you do, don't spank! Bomb in the Brain is a documentary about the permanent, negative effects of child abuse which includes the negative, permanent effects of spanking. The American Academy of Pediatrics does not recommend spanking either.
3 years ago
Sorry Gavsmommy, but im going to spank my child still. With my hand. On her diaper, or on her hand. I will never use a belt but im telling yuou right now I was spanked as a child <with a belt> and there are no negative effects to me. There study is completely stupid. There is nothing wrong with spanking ur child. People who dont spank there kids and they act right; they are the lucky ones, as for the normal faamily? there children need pops on the butt sometimes to put an end to whatever they are doing.  
3 years ago
Sorry Gavsmommy, but im going to spank my child still. With my hand. On her diaper, or on her hand. I will never use a belt but im telling yuou right now I was spanked as a child <with a belt> and there are no negative effects to me. There study is completely stupid. There is nothing wrong with spanking ur child. People who dont spank there kids and they act right; they are the lucky ones, as for the normal faamily? there children need pops on the butt sometimes to put an end to whatever they are doing.  
3 years ago
way to go mammakline! my husband and i are firm believers in spanking. i only use my hand, and it's on her hand, or diaper covered butt. i was spanked as a child, too, and i don't have any negative effects from it. hell, i should have been spanked a lot more, because i was a difficult child, lol. it gets the message across immdiately that whatever behavior she's involved in is innapropriate. she gets 3 chances to stop, and then it's a spank on the butt. she's a very well behaved kid, and so it almost always clears up by the first time i say, "no, ma'mm!" i will never use a belt, or any other object, and i will never ever smack her in the face.
3 years ago
i have a 2 year old and a 3 and a half year old, both girls. my older went thru "terrible twos" but it was nothing compared to my current 2 yr old. she turned 2 a little more than two months ago, and the tantrums have started like clockwork. she is unreasonable, uncontrollable, and it is nearly impossible to calm her down. she cries when a show on TV ends, gets very upset and you can't calm her for 20 minutes. every time we pull in the driveway its full-scale meltdown and she refuses to get out her car seat. i dread taking them places because when its time to leave, i know there might be a scene. anyway time-out works well with my older child, and let me agree that being consistent is key, or it really doesn't work. but my 2 yr old scoffs at time-out; will even go voluntarily and smile at me defiantly. i have tried putting her in her room, and this seems to be more effective, because she is taken out of the environment. she has to stay for 2 minutes. if she is in meltdown mode i say to her, "you are mad, aren't you? you weren't ready to get out of the car, were you? i know, you were having fun and you weren't ready to stop. i'm sorry. but now its time to do something different so we can do more fun things." sometimes this helps, not always. sometimes i have her say, "i'm mad!" instead of crying and this sometimes helps her put words to her feelings. i think for them it must be very frustrating - they are aware of all these things, want to do and have control of so much in their lives, but are not able to. nor are they able to articulate all of these powerful emotions they are having. they don't know how to communicate it. honestly, if it were me i might flail around on the floor kicking and screaming too! as for spanking, i have been at my limit and popped both girls once or twice in their lives. but what i notice is that they hit each other more if they get popped. i think it teaches them that it is ok to hit, and its hard to teach kids to "do as i say, not as i do". they are imitators. i think in extreme situations there are times when it may be appropriate, but in our house it isn't our main avenue of discipline. time-out i find to be much more effective and positive. and sometimes for my 2 yr old i just have to walk away and let her cry it out. this stops me from losing my temper and usually in about 20 minutes she will be much more calm. spanking a child who is having a temper tantrum has got to be even scarier for them - put yourself in their situation. feeling all of that loss of control and confusion and anger and then getting smacked on top of that? that's got to be hard. and my kids are very well-behaved for the most part. in public people are always commenting on how polite and well-behaved they are. the bottom line is that 2 is a very tough age. it requires patience and understanding from you, and it can be very hard. but it does get better. consistency, consistency, consistency. never give in. stand your ground. be strict. don't let her get away with anything. and she will start to realize who is in charge. for aggressive behavior such as biting, i think she should go straight to her room for 2 to 4 minutes. no warnings or questions asked. sorry this is so long but i hope it helps! good luck!
3 years ago
thank you kahchagirl ...!! honnestly i dont like to spank or hit because my mom would do it all the time with her hand with the belt even with a cable ..!! i went thru a lot of violence while i was little and soo i dont want her to live thru the same .. time outs have worked wonders after i started being constant and not letting her go back to playing with out me saying to do so.. Thank you soo much everyone ...!!

Pages

Vertical Tabs

*DISCLAIMER
Parenting.com's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use