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how do i get my bf to understand...?

Relationships

how do i get my bf to understand...?

lately weve been having issues. once i got pregnant i lost the urge to hang out with our friends all the time like we used to. not because im tired but because im focused on being healthy safe and preparing to be a mom. he doesnt give me the same amount of attention.. or so i feel. and now i hate that he drinks and parties. in my head i see him not being able to grow up. ive tried talking to him about how i feel but he doesnt seem to understand. he keeps blaming my pregnant emotions. is it wrong to feel like he should slow it down and be calm like me?
asked by sguz89 2 years 20 weeks ago
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answers (8)
by MOMMYOFZOO submitted 2 years 20 weeks

I agree that he should calm down but it might be a bit early for him to do it yet. With a lot of men they don't get in to the pregnancy like we women do. To them they know they are having a baby but its not REALLY  a baby until they see it for the first time. It just doesn't click for some reason. I can understand being upset about him doing the partying while you have to be the responsible. Its aggravating! Lol. I feel the same way sometimes and I wasn't a partyer to start with. When you say he doesn't pay as much attention to you is it because he still goes off with yalls friends while you stay home? I agree he should slow down but you can't expect him to just stop completely right now. Wait and see how he does after you have the baby. Try to not be too hard on him, try asking him to make small cut backs and see how that helps. Good luck :)

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by K-LA19 submitted 2 years 20 weeks

this is the same situation i'm in. Before i was pregnant he and i used to go to parties nearly every weekend and hang out with all our friends. But then once i found out i was having a baby i didn't want to go out at all. I would much rather stay home and watch a movie than go out and be around all that crap.  And for a while he was really angry that i didn't want to still go out. But the closer it gets to our daughter actually being here, the more he seems to understand that i just want it to be 'calm' (like you say).

No it's not wrong to feel that way. You need to be stress-free and calm bringing your baby into this world. And yeah, my guy blames my emotions for me nagging about the drinking and stuff.. but so what?  Men will never understand our maternal instincts :)

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by sguz89 submitted 2 years 20 weeks

im not a partier. i love spending time with him. both our jobs take up a lot of time. so we would try to spend anytime we got together. once i got pregnant i wasnt up to hanging out with everyone and he still wants to have his fun. so most of the time i stay home or go and sit alone. it sucks

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by JMDAUGHTREY submitted 2 years 19 weeks

its the smae way with me too. i stopped really having a intrest in our friends because i was coming more and more to relize that these where not they type of people i want around my child. i have explained it to bf many times saying that we needed to find more grown up friends. now when that group of friends come over i tend to find something else to do, so they come over less and less. we now have some more adult friends and im glad

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by sbrickhouse8688 submitted 2 years 19 weeks

I was in the same situation when i was pregnant. And i told him to slow down. Did he listen no. Than he told me to have fun with my friends but I was often tired and focused on the baby.  Maybe you could try goin out together for something like a nice walk to the movies or dinner together. Hope I helped.

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by MommaLovinLife submitted 2 years 15 weeks

Be careful not to burn bridges with your friends. After you have the baby it will be very hard to get back in touch if no one has heard from you in months. It gets really lonely after you have the baby, you will need your friends. Try to find a balance between your new life as a mom and your old life as you. Try to take time to enjoy things you like doing, don't lose yourself to being a mom. If you can, make new friends that have kids or are expecting and find new activities to do together with your man that line up better with your ideal family lifestyle. You are more likely to get him to replace behaviors than to convince him to just quit. Your new activities don't even have to cost money.

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by 1stTimeMomhoward submitted 2 years 4 weeks

hey Im in a similar situation.  Do what you know is the best, its whats best for you and yours child. I just broke it off with my bf of 3years and were having our first child. It was for the best because hes not ready to grow up yet and I felt the need to have someone there. But family and friends are the support you need right now keep your head up God only gives you what you can handle <3

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by 1stTimeMomhoward submitted 2 years 4 weeks

hey Im in a similar situation.  Do what you know is the best, its whats best for you and yours child. I just broke it off with my bf of 3years and were having our first child. It was for the best because hes not ready to grow up yet and I felt the need to have someone there. But family and friends are the support you need right now keep your head up God only gives you what you can handle <3

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