How do we discipline our 2 year old WITHOUT spanking?

You need to think about way of both disciplining after the fact, and proactively avoiding the need to discipline. In terms of the former, time-outs are a tried and true method. Choose a chair or step somewhere in the house where there are no toys and no stimulation or entertainment--basically, somewhere boring. Time-outs should be one minute per years of age, so a two-year-old gets a two-minute time out, with an egg timer. The key to success is devoting the time and energy necessary to establishing the time-out routine. It can take hours the first day, and often on successive days, but over time, the parent only has to take the child there or tell him/her to go there. But at first, you must repetitively return the child to the time-out place without conversation other than, for example, "You hit your sister. It is not ok to hit. Time out."

There are times I do feel a swat on the bum is warranted. if your child does something dangerous and there is no time for warnings or time-outs, such as if he runs into the street, a little swat to get his attention is a good idea. If you use that method for everything, it loses effectiveness and you're at risk for the ante being upped and spanking more often or harder. Don't go there.

You can head off issues oftentimes by giving choices. "Do you want to sing with me while you put your toys away, or do you want me to read to you while you put your toys away?" If your child won't get dressed, ask "Do you want to wear this blue sweater or this red one?" Etc.

Disciplining toddlers is challenging! A combination of the above is my suggestion.

Lori Day, Educational Psychologist and Consultant

www.loridayconsulting.com