The easy question first: If she is still using a pacifier it is already damaging her teeth. Pacifiers should definitely be gone by age 2, but earlier is better. I took them away from my kids when my daughter was 9 months old and my son was 8 months because I wanted them gone before they got emotionally attached to them. I didn't have any trouble and my kids never wanted them after that.As far as sleeping goes, that's trickier. My daughter is almost 3 and she is currently sleeping with me. But, we're not in a normal situation, we were staying with my family and have been in a hotel for over a month while we wait to close on our house. Once we've gotten settled in she'll be back in her own bed in her own room. My husband and I have no problem with her sleeping with us occasionally but I'll be co-sleeping with our new baby after she's born, so our kids need to be in their own rooms, and generally they're fine with that.I do think that at 3 years old any child should be sleeping in their own room, at least most of the time. I understand your boyfriend's desire to have his daughter love him. He's not the primary parent in her life and having a good, close relationship is probably very important to him. But, a good parent-child relationship isn't built on giving a child everything she wants. Children need, and actually want, clear boundaries and rules. They need that structure. Your boyfriend should read some parenting books or maybe even take a parenting class. Parenting a child is fun, but it's also work. The goal is to love, teach and guide children into adulthood, not to be their best friend.