How old is too old for a child to be sleeping with her parent?

My boyfriend has a 3 year old daughter. He gets her overnight every other weekend. When he lived with his parents she slept with him. No we have a house together and she is still sleeping with him. This is beyond frustrating for me. We have talked about it but he get's angry when I put my 2 cents is where his parenting is concerned. He spoils her rotten. He rarely disciplines her. He coddles her and pleads with her to change her attitude, or pick up her mess, or not to hit or throw things. It's ridiculous. He feels that since he is only a part time parent he should make her as happy as she can possibly be so he's the favourite. Ya, he's the favourite (for a 3 year old that's pretty much whoever they are with who is letting them have their way), he gives her everything she wants when she wants it. He complains that his ex is inconsistent with punishment but he rarely punishes anything. He gives time outs because he doesn't believe in spanking. That's fine, if HE were consistent. Anyhow, the sleeping with daddy thing is putting a HUGE monkey wrench into our relationship for me. I can see her sleeping with him when he lived with his parents but we live together now. She has her own room. A HUGE room with her very own bed yet he won't even try to put her in it. She sleeps in her own room at her mother's house, NOT with her mom and step-father. I seriously do not think she should be sleeping with us. Actually, I started sleeping elsewhere on the nights she is here and he is just fine with that. He actually suggested that "I" sleep in her room. Yesterday was our first anniversary and I slept in her room with the dog while she slept in our bed with him. What's wrong with this picture???? On another note..... at what point should the parents ditch the binky? She's 3 and it will start to mess up her teeth if she sucks on that thing all the time. he won't even try to break the habbit. Her babysitter said she does just fine without it when she is there but he won't even try and gets angry with me when I put it away.