when he is sleeping on the sofa, take your toddler, and plop him/her down on top of him. tell him you need some help. not later, now. tell him, "i could care less if your tired, or not. you are a parent, and it's your responsibility to pitch in and help. you helped me make these babies, and you need to help raise them as well." men think that we have the easy job of staying home with the children, until they have to stay home and do everything we do for a couple of days. i have 4 slipped discs in my back which often leaves me immobilized for up to a week at a time. until my husband stayed home to take care of me, our 21 month old daughter, and 4 pit bulls, he had no idea what everyday life was like for me. this was an eye-opening experience for him. he was going crazy by day 4. now, he longer bitches about dishes in the sink when he comes home, or laundry folded and stacked on the kitchen table. he now understands, that life with a toddler, and 4 dogs, is non-stop until she goes to bed. as for changing diapers, my husband only changes her when he has to. he told me early on that he felt uncomfortable doing it. i understood, and told him it was no big deal, but that if we had another child that turned out to be a boy, he would be changing diapers just as much as me when he was home. thankfully, i have been potty training her, so soon we will be able to get rid of diapers completely. however, you need to view his behavior as a red flag. some men just don't get it, and never will.