im 16 and i want to have a baby!...any advise?

Babies are a blessing but they are also a lot of work. They change your life completely. I was ready for this change, so it has not been unpleasant for me. I am almost always with my baby, except when at work. I don't get to go to the movies, parties, the mall etc at the drop of a hat like I used to because my baby needs me to be there for her.

A lot of my friends don't come around a whole lot because I have a baby, and some of them can't be bothered with someone who has other obligations besides themselves. I am 27 years old, and my boyfriend and I have been together a long time. We both work full-time at decent jobs and we still have a tight budget because babies are expensive. Also, it sounds like you have quite a few siblings, which means bringing another baby into your household could potentially put a strain on your parents. It would be very irresponsible of you to bring a baby into the world without having any of the proper resources. Were you planning on relying on Medicaid, food stamps, and other entitlements for your baby? If so, you really need to rethink your decision. Welfare isn't there so that you can get pregnant and have babies you can't afford. It's unfortuante that it ends up that is what welfare assistance is ultimately used for - people who have babies they can't take care of and have no intention of trying to without government help. I should know, I work in public health. 

Also, might I say that teenage years are hard - I know - but you have many years ahead of you to grow and learn about yourself. Put off having a baby so that you may experience what young adulthood has to offer. I suggest maybe college or community college after you finish high school. Even if you don't finish you will meet new people, learn things, and you will never forget your experience. Just because 16-year-olds on MTV are having babies doesn't mean you should. Please enjoy your youth...you will never get it back!!

Wait.  You're sixteen - you have years ahead of you.  Babies are great, but they require a lot of work, a lot of patience, a lot of support from family and friends - and they're expensive to boot. 

Give it a few years - your ovaries aren't going anywhere.  Graduate high school, go to college, find a girlfriend, find a wife, get a job you love, put some money away into savings, and when you're older and wiser and more financially stable - THEN have your baby.  You'll appreciate him or her so much more for having had lived a little longer than 16 years.

You need to finish school, and learn how to spell, such as the words:    preferably...babies...allowed...advice .  It's important that you make good grades and finish high school. And if  you make good grades while in high school, you could get scholarships and/or grants to go to college. 

You need to think about why you want a baby.  Do you want a baby to love you?  Or do you want to offer continuous love to a baby?

Here's an idea:  there are plenty of moms who would love to have a break. You could voluntarily come and give their baby some attention while they are there, just so they can rest their feet.  Motherhood can be overwhelming, and it seems to be non-stop when you have a baby, with barely a chance for the  mom to take a shower.  Babies should be breastfed if possible, so that they have the best start in life. Breastmilk  has immunoglobulins and many other ingredients especially for human babies, that keep a baby healthy.   That would be difficult to do if you are still in school, or have to work, although many moms are committed to pumping their breastmilk while at work. It's not easy to do that but can be done.   But if you have to work to support the baby, you're not really there for the baby during the day, so why go out of your way to have a baby?  The way it best works out and this is how God intended it, is for the mom to stay home, breastfeed the baby, while her husband works to support the family. 

Consider dropping the lesbian lifestyle and loving men instead.  Or do you hate men?  And, if you hate men, why would you want a baby who will become a man?

dont do that i am 15 and i wish i waited please u wil make big mistake but if u wnna do what u want then u will regreat it my mom forced me to stay in school us u shouldnt give your education up for ANYTHING ! but if u really wnnna baby bad try using a sperm doner

I had a baby at 15, I missed out on everything! I didnt get to finish highschool, I had to get a job right away. the cost of Diapers, formula (my milk didnt come in) clothes, daycare, toys! I missout on my teenage years! No prom,parties, hangign out with my friends! I lost almost all my friends, no one wanted to hang out with me and my baby! Its not easy. My daughter is now 15 and I dread her making the same decisions I did! dont you want your child to have everything he/she can? at 16 you cant give all they need! I was lucky to have my parents, but they couldnt do it all for me. you have your whole life ahead of you. when the time is right you will have your baby. But you need to find out who you are and what you need and want to be, before you can do that for someone else!

Yuri, I really respect what you are saying. I know how strong the desire can be to have a baby all of your own. It took me four years and two miscarriages to have mine. I really think you should wait to have a baby, though. Even if you do have a full-time job and you finished school early, go live your life first. I have a 16-year-old sister, so I know you really don't want a 27-year old telling you what to do, but I can say that from the ages of 17-25 I had the time of my life! I made some mistakes and I made some good choices, and they made me the woman I am today. Just trust me on this. As I approach 30 I find myself thinking from time to time how awesome it was to be 19, spending my money on concert tickets and road trips. And then I settled down, had a baby, and my life is a new kind of awesome.

Here's one thing to consider: When you're a mom, what you "want" isn't paramount anymore. What you do, you do for your baby. (Or you should.) A child doesn't ask to be brought into the world. If we choose to do it, we have an obligation to put him/her first.

So put your future baby first NOW. Think about what you want for him. (Or her.) Think like his mother NOW. Use this time to make your life and circumstances baby-ready. Get your education. Get a job. Get a home. Make a nursery.

I'm not saying that having a baby under less-than-ideal circumstances is terrible and aweful and all of that... women and girls who face unexpected pregnancies make the best of it all the time. But that's different than CHOOSING to become pregnant. You're using your head right now, asking questions- and that's great. Since you have that foresight, you have the chance to plan ahead and make your life with your future baby the best it can possibly be. Don't be in a hurry. Good things are worth waiting for. :)On a side note, between your previous sexual abuse and your (extremely!) early sexual experimentation, you should really seek counseling. Not saying that to be judgmental (I can relate more than you may think)- and yes, I have gotten counseling). If you want to be a parent, it would be really good if you could come into that prepared emotionally, having dealt with your past.

I had my first child at 16 and i can tell you that it's not as easy as you think, babysitting is WAY differant than having a child 24/7.I loss alot of friends they way to busy being "kids" themselfs.You also have to be ready to hear ALOT of "Babies having babies" i heard it every time we went out.I don't reget keeping my child but i didn't use protection and I got pregnant so i had no choice but to keep him.I wish i would have waited so he could have a better life.I droped out of school b/c i didn't trust people with my child so i only went to 10th grade for 2 day's. 

You need to ask yourself if you like what freedom you have now Cause when you have a child it's ALL ABOUT THAT CHILD and not just you anymore.

Even if you have finished highschol, it doesn't do much good with out a college degree. I had my daughter my senior year of high-school. I had a good job and believe me with costs of childcare there is no way I could have supported her with out the help of my parents. I went to a private school, and my dean and tearchers where hell-bent on seeing me graduate and I did. But let me tell you, it was hard.

The hardest part really is college. Every one always says get through high-school first, but college is the challenge. My finace and I are both in school full time, and we spend every waking hour studying, cleaning and taking care of two toddlers. My 3 year old can recite the medical term for every body part because she hears us study so much. You are far to young, and there are days I wish I had waited to have my darling daughters. You say you don't like to party but it's not just partying you are missing out on, its EVERYTHING dinners out are no longer fun (atleast not for the first year), the things you love will no longer be the center of your life.

If you feel this need to be around children, get a job at a preschool work in the infant room. If you have the experience you say you do, it should be easy. It's easy to say you understand, but when the child is 100% your responsibility, it is not the same thing as helping to raise your mothers child. 16 is entirly too young to make such a life changing choice, it really is. Trust me, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, not that I planned mine.

If I hadn't had the support from my family, teachers and the few friends I had left after they found out, I would never have made it as far as I have. Save motherhood for when you can enjoy it the way you really want too, buy your children everything they need.

If you really want to have a baby at age 16, then there's some things  you  need to consider first - because if you don't think about them now, you will have to think about them later. 

1. Money.  Babies are expensive.  You say you've finished high school - I assume you've got either a diploma or a GED.  Congratulations.  I assume also that you're not considering college or technical school.  That's fine, as long as you like the job you've got and have some sort of stability there. 

The problem is that once you have the baby, you're going to have to either quit your job to stay home and take care of the baby 24/7, or find someone who can take care of the baby for you while you work.  DO NOT assume your mother/sister/cousin/grandparents will take care of your child.  DO NOT assume your friends will all pitch in to help take care of your child.  DO NOT assume you can find a babysitter for 8-10 hours a day, five to six days a week, for anything less than $5 or even $10/hour. 

2. Heath Care.  Babies require a lot of it, even before they're born.  There's prenatal care for you and then there's the actual hospital bill and then there's the well-baby visits after.  You're probably on your parents' health insurance - but would your baby be?  And heaven forbid something go wrong!  Teens who have babies are statistically more likely to have premature infants who thus require additional medical care - which is gong to drive up the actual costs.  Insurance does NOT cover everything.  You need to consider what kind of medical costs you're able to cover - and what you'll do when you run out of sick days from work.  (Not if.  WHEN.  Because even if your baby is perfectly healthy - you're going to run out of sick days.)

3. The Dad.  There are two ways to get pregnant.  One, you have unprotected sex with a man.  Two, you get medical assistance via fertility doctors.  Now, you say you're a lesbian, and I have no problem with that.  But if you're completely 100% turned off by men, and you've been sexually traumatized to boot - it's going to be hard to get the first option accomplished without some serious mental scarring on your part.  And I have to tell you - being 16 and technically underage, no fertility clinic worth their salt is going to take you as a client right now.  I'm sorry, and yeah, it sucks, but it's true.

The only other way to parent (but not to get pregnant) is to adopt or foster, but the same thing applies: no adoption agency or government fostering agency is going to accept you as a potential parent, because of your age, no matter how many of your siblings you have raised.

I'll be honest, I think you're too young to be a parent.  But I know that my opinion isn't going to stop you.  I only ask that you consider these things and have your plan in place before you do it.  If you make a plan and you reason out all eventualities and you KNOW you can provide for this child in ANY eventuality: then you've shown that you're mature enough to be a mom.  (And that's more than a lot of 20-year-old parents ever bother to do, frankly.) 

Good luck, with whatever you decide.

look into childcare for an infant. if you go with a daycare, you will be spending around $800 a month for full time. seriously. that's something you need to consider. diapers are going to run you around $80-100 a month.  formula, if you decide not to breastfeed is $35 a can. you will be buying a lot of that. when my daughter was 3 months old, we went through 8 cans a month. by the time she was 7 months, we were buying 12 and 13 cans.  do the math, it adds up very quickly. the cheapest infant carseat i have found is $57. the rest of them range anywhere from $80-250. a basic crib is about $150. basic strollers can run anywhere from $80-$300. i have seen some for over a 1,000. where are you going to get all the money to pay for this? don't expect your parents to foot the bill for all of this, and don't think for a second that your friends will be helping you much, either. this is only a small portion of what you will need. you might enjoy babysitting, but at the end of the day, you can hand those kids back to their parents. you can't do that when you are the parent. a newborn wakes up about every 2 hours a night to eat. most babies don't sleep through the night until they are around 4-5 months. after you have the baby, you won't be able to go back to work until atleast 6 or 8 weeks. daycare centers will not take a baby younger than 6 weeks, and most won't take them until 8 weeks. would your employer be willing to give you that much time? you have so much more to think about than how cute that baby at the grocery store looks when he/she coos and smiles at you. you have no idea what i takes to raise a child at your age. sure, you helped to raise your younger siblings, but who was actually paying for everything? not you, i'm quite sure.