I agree with the above. Remember, every mom goes thru this, but not every mom is resolved enough to do what needs to be done. I agree about the teething, it affects each child differently. And the word 'no' means nothing without consistent consequences, you can't change your mind after you say 'no'. I say stick with the timeouts. I don't think his entire room should be the timeout spot and the timeout spot shouldn't be in his room. Watch some suppernanny, I like her method. Sometimes you have to be strong and just put him in the timeout spot 30 times knowing that you're doing what NEEDS to be done, and it will get better. The flailing is common at this age... and beyond. Don't shun his independence, it is the ultimate goal after all! :) I've always pushed my own kids & my preschool students (15-30 mos) to be independent. I think it fosters an intelligent, self-confident child. I agree with giving choices for the same reason. I always say to assume a child can do much more than what you've seen them do. It's a great thing to behold when they do. For example, I had students that would take their shoes off even though they'd been told not to. They'd bring me their slip-on shoes or buckle mary janes and ask me to put them on. The other teacher in the class would put them on for them, even if we were in no hurry to go somewhere, because she's that type of mother - she does way too much for her own kids (wiping booties at 7 y.o. is too much). I on the other hand will sit in the floor and teach them how to do it themselves even if their own mothers do it for them. Why shouldn't they? Nobody will claim it's child abuse to make kids learn to put their own shoes on, even if they don't want to. At the very least, kindergartners are smart enough to be taught to open milk cartons, tie their shoes, and button/zip their pants, or moms should buy slip-on/velcro shoes and pull-up elastic waist pants. Now I'm an elementary school teacher and I'm amazed how much food gets thrown away every day at lunch. I poll the kids that do this and they all have the same answer; they don't pack their own lunch. My kids have been packing their lunch since 3rd grade. I buy the food, they choose the night before what they want, make it, and I randomly check them to make sure they're balanced and to see what's 'on trend' for each of them. They do have guidelines (protein, fruit, & salty or sweet), they can't pack just chips and cookies! I also ask them to bring home anything they don't eat so I can buy something different if I need to (unless it leeks!). Since they're 'in charge' of their lunches, very little is wasted. Do set up some boundaries NOW in regards to what you expect for behavior and don't let him 'wear you down'. My friends & I also discovered that it's important that other caregivers (dad, grandma) are made aware of and SUPPORT the 'expected behavior' that you're establishing with your child/children. I had a friend that couldn't even go to the grocery store at night because she couldn't get her husband to not 'give in' to their daughter and he 'undid' 2 weeks of potty training in one bathroom visit. I can tell you that you HAVE to be more stubborn than your children, and calm stubbornness is the best for everybody. I know it's hard, but you have to turn off that part of your brain that wants to do ANYthing to make him stop crying, especially when he's crying because he's just not getting his way. But don't be so stubborn that you can't alter your discipline 'plan' if it just isn't working, but not after only trying a couple of days depending on what you're trying to accomplish and how stubborn he can be. One of my twins came out of the birth canal trying to control the world. It has been a daily (hourly?) battle that takes a good portion of my dwindling brain power to fight. You may have heard this before, but it doesn't get any easier! Your 'expected behavior' can change & evolve weekly, sometimes daily when kids bodies & minds are growing & changing so rapidly. You need to be strong EVERY day, 'cause the next day will likely present you with a new battle. Don't get defeated, just get resolved. JMHO. I have a 17 yo and 2 13 yo. I have always received compliments on their behavior & manners which I really believe has aided in their high intelligence. It takes/has taken a LOT of resolve, blood, sweat, tears and prayer.