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My boyfriend hasn't told his parents & family about our baby.

10 answers
2 years ago
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half now. We got pregnant when we've only been together for 5 months. He still hasn't told his parents about our baby girl and I don't know what else to do anymore. All his co-workers knows he has a kid, and so does his friends. I don't know how he can juss keep this a big secret to his family. He does a lot for us, its not like hes a total deadbeat. He buys her everything she needs. He says he loves our baby and I, but it doesn't seem like it because he won't embrace it and let his family know about her and about us. It's killing me inside because I want his family to know about our daughter. I have tried everything in my power to tell him to please tell them. He still hasn't told them and now our daughter is 5 months old in a few days. Need I remind you that I've been at his parents house every day up until the day before I went into labor and I was 40 weeks & 5 days pregnant. Yeah his mom had her suspicions but everytime she'd ask he'd deny it like he was trying to hide the fact that he was having a baby, like he was ashamed of us, me, and our soon arriving child. He won't live with me, because he doesn't want to tell anyone about us and about her. He's never even stayed the night to help, I've been taking care of her by myself every night while he goes home and acts like nothing is different, or that he doesn't have a family on the side. I juss don't understand because its not like were teenagers. I am 21 and he will be 22. Another reason why this is hurting me inside is because he never knew his father, or his fathers family because his father walked out on him and his mother. And what he is doing now to our daughter is the same thing as what happened to him. He didn't know his other family. Now our daughter is walking in the same footsteps and she has no choice. Ive tried everything to make him tell his family, now I'm running out on things to do. I'd tell him that I'm going to tell them myself, call them, write them letters even show up at their house. But he juss goes crazy when I say I'm going to do that. I juss need someone to let me understand what I should do, let me know that everything is going to work out, and that i'm not the only one going through something like this. Sincerely, ProudMommy1212

answers (10)

2 years ago
He needs to tell them, he can't just hide the baby from them forever.I think your should make him tell them or you should.He shouldn't be ashamed of you or the baby, If he didn't want this he shouldn't have been having sex. Are you gonna get married or stay together?  
2 years ago
Every single day I ask when he will tell his family & he always dodges the subject everytime I bring it up, or he'll tell me he will soon. Every single day she gets older & it gets even more harder to tell them. I love him a lot & I know he loves me & the baby too, but it juss doesn't seem like he does by hiding something like this. These are the most precious times for grandparents & family, now their missing out on a lot & so is he. I want to stay together with him not because I love him but for our daughter. SHe is the most beautiful baby & to hide something so amazingly precious is very crushing. I want to get married to him too but if he hides our baby, then what else could he hide if we got married? I'm juss really torn & don't know what else to do.
2 years ago
Reading this raised a lot of red flags for me. When you were at his mom's house did he ever acknowledge the fact that you were in a relationship together? Or did it seem like he was passing you off as more of a friend? If he isn't willing to live with you or to tell his family about your baby, it sounds like there is something going on. It could just be that he has issues about not knowing how to be a good father since he didn't have one himself. (My husband is like that sometimes.) Or, it could be something serious, like he's in a relationship with someone else. Either way, your baby has a right to know her family. If he won't tell his family about her, you should.
2 years ago
Yes he did acknowledge that we were in a relationship together. I know that he's not in a relationship with someone else either, because he's always working or with his grandmother helping her out. I juss wish he'd change.
2 years ago
Well, if he doesn't tell his family soon, you need to tell him. His family is missing out on time with your baby and she is missing out on time with them. It's not fair to anyone involved.
2 years ago
I tell him that their missing out on everything but its like he doesn't even care, or he juss brushes it off. She's getting to the stage where she recognizes who she knows & who strangers are. She's not going to feel comfortable with his family because she doesn't know them. Its definitely not fair to anyone involved. Happy 5 months to her tomorrow. I'm hoping by the weekend everything will change. Thanks for everyone's advice so far.
2 years ago
I hope everything plays out how it's supposed too. Just stay strong and never give up on your baby. :) You seem to really love it so I doubt that would happen. If I were in your shoes I would give up on him, because he doesn't seem to care about you. No girl deserves to be treated the way you are. All girls should be treated like gold and their children should be well taken care of by the father. :) If your boyfriend continues with the crap then maybe you could consider leaving him. If he's acting like that now then he'll always be that way. Guys never change. I know you love him but it's obviously not mutual because if it was then he would be telling everyone about it. You just gotta do what makes you and that baby happy, thats all that matters. Being with someone like that won't make you happy because of the way he's treating you. 
2 years ago
I love my daughter so much, I would never give up on her. She's my entire world. I have considered leaving him, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I'm juss trying to make everything better for us. I never give up, & I'm not going to start now. I juss want to be happy again, im going to continue to fight for my happiness.
2 years ago
If you were my daughter I would give you a big hug and then tell you to come to your senses.  You need to have more respect for yourself and not allow him to treat you that way.  Marriages should not happen just because you have a child together.  People should get married because they both love and respect each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.  If he wanted to be with you and your daughter, he would be.  If he wanted you guys to be a family then he would not be hiding you.  He is treating you this way because you are allowing it.  You sound like a loving, devoted mother.  Teach your daughter to be a strong self-respecting woman by showing her how to be one.    
2 years ago
If you were my daughter I would give you a big hug and then tell you to come to your senses.  You need to have more respect for yourself and not allow him to treat you that way.  Marriages should not happen just because you have a child together.  People should get married because they both love and respect each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.  If he wanted to be with you and your daughter, he would be.  If he wanted you guys to be a family then he would not be hiding you.  He is treating you this way because you are allowing it.  You sound like a loving, devoted mother.  Teach your daughter to be a strong self-respecting woman by showing her how to be one.    

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