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Need help! ASAP please.

Third Trimester

Need help! ASAP please.

This is my first pregnancy and I am very excited about it. But I have a major problem I really need advice on. My husband and I live with my mother in law and she is such a pain in the butt always telling me how I am going to raise my child and what to do and not to do. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with advice but it's reallys starting to affect me and bug me that she's always telling me I'm not going to do certain thing to raise me child and it pisses me off that my husband never says anything to her. Money is really tight and that is why we haven't been able to get our own place but I feel frustrated and stressed out and I worry about my unborn baby. Please I need advice.
asked by Newmommy 100 38 weeks 6 days ago
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answers (8)
by VforVenture submitted 38 weeks 5 days

You need to talk to your husband. She's his mom, he's the one who needs to stand up to her. He needs to tell her that while her advice and experience is appreciated (she has raised at least one child already, after all), it's not her child and she needs to let the two of you figure things out. All children are different, all parents are different. What works for some may not work for others. And, let her know that if you do have questions she will be the first person you ask. (Whether or not you actually do that doesn't matter. It will make her feel better.)But, know that pretty much everyone will be giving you advice, especially if they see you struggling, which you will at some point. So don't be offended by it. People usually just want to help out. 

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by Newmommy 100 submitted 38 weeks 5 days

@vforventure

Thank you for the advice.

I have talked to my husband and he's tried talking to his mother but for some reason it just goes in one ear and out the other. Nothing makes her understand. I talk to my mother and she tells me I have to move outor ignore her but I just can't afforded to move yet and my mom has offered her house to us but I just feel I'm going to put my husband in an awkward  position. My mother in law has even tried to get  rid of my dogs because she's says dogs are bad for baby's. I just can't stand her anymore. 

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by VforVenture submitted 38 weeks 5 days

Wow. That's a little crazy. In my experience, pets adjust very well to babies and if they don't like the baby, they know to keep their distance. If your MIL just won't listen, you might have to move in with your mom, if only for your sanity. I know it would hurt her, and it would awkward for your husband, but something has to change. Maybe even just the threat of you guys moving out would be enough. The bottom line is that her behavior is inappropriate and you can't live that way. Having a new baby is stressful enough.

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by Newmommy 100 submitted 38 weeks 5 days

@vforventure

I know pets adjust to baby's good I grow up with dogs and even now my dogs cuddle around my tummy and stick there nose in my tummy like they know the baby is there. I know it would hurt my MIL cause she still babys my husband it's  like she can't figure it out that he's a married man starting his own life now. It's just really stressful and I know once the baby is here its gonna be stressful as is,now if my MIL doesn't get the picture I'm going to be twice stressed out and I don't want that I want to enjoy my baby.

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by VforVenture submitted 38 weeks 4 days

I think living with her is a bad idea. It only reinforces the idea that your husband needs her to take care of him. Sometimes, as sad as it is, and as hard as it is, you have to do what is best for you, without worrying about another person's feelings. Otherwise, you'll be dealing with the same crappy situation forever.

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by Newmommy 100 submitted 38 weeks 3 days

Yea I totally understand and all this advice has really got me thinking. Maybe I just have to worry about my baby'sfeelingsNAND mine too cause selfishness is not the answer and apparently my husband doesn't get that. 

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by VforVenture submitted 38 weeks 3 days

If nothing else, maybe spending more time at your mom's will be good for you, assuming she lives close enough to visit often. Getting away from your mother in law, even for a little while, will definitely help you feel better.

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by Newmommy 100 submitted 37 weeks 6 days

I do spend time at my moms house she lives 10 minutes away from me. Her house is like my house on the weekends :) trust me I leave my house I'm happy and I forget distress and stuff and then I sit in my car thinking should I go in or not lol 

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