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New born that is attached to the arms

6 answers
2 years ago
I have a newborn that is 2mths old and loves to be in someone's arms. My fiancee and I have been disagreeing on how to raise our son...and I fear this will break up our relationship. My fiancee feels we should teach our son to let him cry until to teach him to be independent. I fear that letting my son cry, for a long period of time, will hurt him. When I was a baby, a babysitter I had would let me cry without comfort, I eventually had a double hernia as an infant. I have been told to put him in a swing, then a bouncer, and just constantly move him around so that he dosen't get use to the arms as much. The problem is...he only enjoys those things for a short amount of time, like 10 minutes or so..any advice would be greatly apperciated.

answers (6)

2 years ago
At two months, they are looking to see how the world around them works. When they cry, its for a reason (even if it's just that they want to be held.) There does come a time where he will need to explore his independance but this is not the time. That being said, there is nothing wrong with finding activites that don't inculde being held 24/7 swing, bouncer, activity mats and as soon as they can hold their head up a bumbo. It's a pain to constantly move them around, but they wont becomed so dependant on being held. The more secure you make him feel now, the more confindant he will feel in a few months as he starts crawling and walking.
2 years ago
I agree with KayKaysMommy. My daughter likes to be held but she also likes to have her own time in the swing, bouncer, activity gym. She too only likes these things for about 15 mins. I also lay her on the bed and give her a toy to play with. She also LOVES her Bumbo chair. Just try to keep them occupied. I wouldn't let them cry for too long though. I too believe that there is a time that they will gain independence but 2 months in not the time. 
2 years ago
ok your fiancee is a little confused. whoever started the whole 'you can spoil a baby' ideology is wrong. infants NEED to be held. at two months they are still getting used to not being in the snug comfort of the womb. yes, they need to be put down from time to time, but hold that baby! keep in mind that as a mother you will have natural instincts that dad will never get. continue to talk it out and explain to him how you don't feel comfortable just letting the baby cry- yet. keep talking to the baby when you use the swing or bouncer. good luck :)
2 years ago
my daughter is 2 months, 1 week, and is the same way. My husband's mom, when she babysat, had been letting her cry herself to sleep because she said it's what she did with her kids. Our doctor told us this can make them gassy and even more colicky. You CAN NOT spoil your baby in the first year of life. It's impossible. A way you may help is to put the baby in bed when he is drowsy, but not yet sleepy, which will get him used to his bed as a "safe place." eventually, he will learn to be quiet in his own bed if you put him down in there when he is wide awake. hold his hand while he's lying down, and never leave him crying for more than 5 minutes at a time. I'm just relaying what our pediatrician said. Hope it helps. And I hope your fiance doesn't let your baby come between your relationship. That would just be sad for all of you, but especially your son.
2 years ago
My son went and still goes through this stage sometimes (he's almost a year now).  When he was younger we would use a sling, and let him sit in there while we were walking or cleaning or just whatever.  If he was laying down i would swaddel him and then place him in the bounce, or swing, or crib.  Even place him on the couch between my husband and myself while swaddeled.  Some babies are only comfortable while tightly swaddeled.  Give that a try, but crying it out at 2 months old isn't realistic.  My son would sometimes want to be on his side or belly so we would have to find a new pisition for him to lay down in.  Good luck.
2 years ago
my daughter is 5 months and still loves to be held and i think its ok when their young to hold them and love on them its their first year of life it goes by fast i think its fine to hold your child or spoil them they are just babies

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