I feel like I'm living in a fairy tale, but I know I'm glossing over some of the less perfect details in my head. I am 25 and pregnant with my third baby. My mom passed away in 2005 and I really miss being able to talk to her. My mom always was a great listener and gave great advice. I tend to overthink things and I feel better when I'm able to thoroughly talk out all the fears and concerns in my head sorta debate style. My mom was great at being reassuring by asking the right questions, addressing my concerns, and standing firm in her opinions. I really miss that. I have a lot on my mind now that I'm pregnant again.
My story in a nutshell is that I met the man I love at age 17, we lived together until I cheated on him and got pregnant. I had 2 kids and tried to make a life with guy #2 who ended up being an abusive dirtbag. I moved on with my life, got a college education, I work a few part time jobs, and I am a sucessful single mother. I ran back into guy #1, when my boys were 2 and 3 years old. We tried dating for 6 months or so, but he couldn't get over the fact that I had cheated on him and left him for another dude so it never moved past the open relationship, just friendship and dating phase. He met another girl and married her a few months after meeting her. I was devistated and so were my boys, they had gotten very attached to him. I pretty much tried to cut him out of my life, but Guy #1 works for my dad so we still saw each other often. The marriage to the other girl didn't last long. She lived with him less than a year, but they are currently still legally married. He started pursuing me again last June (after they separated). At first I was still hurt and wary of his intentions, but when I finally gave in, I found that a lot had changed. Married life had softened him in a major way. He has clearly forgiven me and I have forgiven him. His marriage didn't work out because she was too young (19) and they had different perceptions of what marriage should be. He and I have, in a sense, grown up together and are on the same page about nearly everything, money, parenting, intrests, etc. We both have goals that are largely modeled after my parents' sucessful marriage and lifestyle. He is in the process of getting a divorce, but it's a slow process because his wife is fighting it.The wife and I are able to talk and are friends on facebook, though we choose to pretty much leave each other alone. She no longer has any possesions in his home, or a key to anything of his. This sounds like a lot of drama, but really it's just a background story.
We recently found out we are pregnant and due in August. I have my own key to his place, his mailbox, and his truck. My boys and I have clothes and toys and personal items that stay at his house, we live with him about half the week even though we have our own place. I do most of the cooking and shopping and cleaning and he gives me money every week to compensate me for my hard work. We had already made plans to buy a house together this summer, before we even found out about the new baby. Life is good and I am happy, but I want to be asked some hard questions. I don't feel like I need to defend my position, and I don't want to be attacked, but I need to make sure I'm not forgetting or overlooking anything.