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Should I feel guilty?

6 answers
3 years ago
I feel kind of silly for asking this, but it has been bothering me. I am really close with one of my sister-in-laws. She has PCOS and has been taking fertility drugs for over a year, trying to conceive. My husband and I are expecting our first in early May, a little girl, and I feel guilty when she asks how I am feeling. Because of this, I try not to divulge too many details and I still haven't sent the ultrasound video she has requested. I know I shouldn't feel guilty that we are expecting and they are still trying, but I do! Both of us talked about how neat it would be to be pregnant at the same time so our babies would have a cousin very close in age. Is it wrong for me to feel guilty?

answers (6)

3 years ago
I don't think so. You want whats best for the people you love, and you feel for her. You are worried about hurting her feelings. Maybe she asks and wants to know so she kinda knows how its going to feel when she conceives. I also suffer from PCOS, and my husband and I have 4 beautiful kids and two more on the way. It took us 3 years from our last one to get pregnant, just keep encouraging her and let her share in this joyous time, soon enough she will be the one who is expecting. I hope this helps and Good Luck : )
3 years ago
You will feel what you feel, but she's asking to be a part of your experience.  I think you should let her, unless you know from other family that she's really upset by it.  She may be a very strong woman who can accept that right now you are experiencing something she isn't able to, but she may still be hopeful for her own child.  I think by shutting her out and not sharing with her you may risk hurting your relationship with her.  Your pregnancy only lasts 10 months, but you will be a mother forever - you can't avoid her once you have your child who will be a constant reminder that you were pregnant.  I think you should probably talk to her and just get it out there in the open; she'll probably reassure you that she's fine and wants to be apart of what you are experiencing.  It could be a very good thing for the two of you.  Be positive about it!  Good luck!
3 years ago
I understand exactly where you are coming from! My s-i-l also has pcos and so does her s-i-l. When I was pregnant with my last baby it was so awkward because they both want a baby but don't think they'll ever have one. I felt completely out of place around them because I knew it was hard for them. But you can't let it come between you 2. She is atleast on meds and trying to improve her chances so its not hopeless. Let her be involved when she asks, even if it feels hurtful. It is her choice how involved she is and I'm sure she isn't going to torture herself intentionally. I hope all works out for both of you. Good luck :)
3 years ago
Thanks for the advice, everyone!
3 years ago
As strange as it sounds my Sister in Law also has PCOS... I was excited when we found out i was pregnant and we live in Alaska where as our family lives in New York, so we called to tell them all. My sister in law admitted she was excited and explained she was a little jealous and that she didnt like that she was jealous but she couldnt help it. I am still excited and like to post stuff on facebook because its the only way to really show my family ultrasound pics and stuff.. i always feel like i shouldn't because of her but i dont want to feel like i have to hold my excitement because of it.
3 years ago
honestly i wouldnt feel guilty. i understand you feeling guilty but i think it would make it easier on her just for you to tell her how your feeling and what different kinds of things are going on with your body. that way when she does finally conceive she will no wat to look for when she does. it will make her all the more excited!!

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