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STEP-DAUGHTER ISSUES!

Work & Family

STEP-DAUGHTER ISSUES!

I have a 19 year old stepdaughter who just recentley moved in with my husband, myself and 2 yr old daughter. Let me enlighten you a little bit how she is, She is kind of an immature 18 year old, and very lazy. she has a bad attitude and think she knows everything about the world. She has a POTTY mouth around our little one. We are having a very hard time trying to get her to help around the house and show some respect. we gave up our 2yr olds room, whom now sleeps with us, so she could have her own room and privacy while she stayed here. When she moved in her intentions were to go the military in 6-8 months time, now that has changed and she is not going. And has no plan at all. My family is a LOWER CLASS household, we struggle everyday to meet ends meet. And having another head in the house is very stressful. She sleeps in until 2 in tha afternoon every single day. wakes up an hr before she works and repeats this horrible routine everyday. we have had talks with her plenty of times about keeping the room she is staying in clean and she countinues to keep it thrashed as if 4 boys were living in that room. She does not help me with any household work, due to her sleeping in all day long.. she has not purchased a car yet so i drive her to work 15 miles there and back everyday. I feel as if she is taking advantage of the situation. we have talked to her more than we can keep count and she still does not listen and frankly it is very disrespectful. It makes it very hard for us to have her in the home. i really need HONEST TRUE advice on what we need to do, because we have run out of options with her, she is an adult and needs to take on some kind of responsibilites. Please someone.. we need advice. I am sorry that this question is not about a young child, i didnt know where else to go.
asked by AnnieCarter 35 weeks 3 hours ago
answer this question
answers (6)
by VforVenture submitted 34 weeks 6 days

First of all, her father needs to be the one to handle this situation with her. Since she already has a bad attitude, she isn't going to give anything you say any thought. 

Second, if she isn't going to join the military, she needs to be in school. Working is great, but she needs a college education in order to get a decent job. There are all kinds of grants and scholarships available, even at a community college. It sounds like she has very little motivation and no direction in her life. Going to school will help her figure out what she wants to do. Just make sure she meets with an advisor to help her figure out which classes to take, otherwise she'll end up wasting time and money on classes she doesn't need.

Oh, and if she won't get her own car, make her take the bus. You don't need to be her chauffeur.

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by AnnieCarter submitted 32 weeks 1 hour

Thank You for your insight, we had a talk with her. and we def took some of your advice. Much Appreciated!!!!!

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by AnnieCarter submitted 31 weeks 3 hours

ok here is an update.. Hopefully someone can help because now i am unsure. Ok Just yesterday i had to finally put my foot down, mind you the husband and i talked about it that morning and i told him i was telling her she needed to move out.She has put my daughter in harms way too many times, she for one carelessly always leaves her cig and lighters around for her to get ahold of, we told her endless times not to, she throws cig butts all around our house ( we are no longer smokers) and my daughter always gets to them. she has left the bleach out and my daughter got it all in her eyes, she agreed to babysit her while i went to work for a few hrs.. i came home and hr early and she was asleep on the couch while my daughter had locked herself out in the mudroom ( for god knows how long) and the very LAST straw i have with her,. My daughter brought down an OPEN razor blade from upstairs. its a miracle she didnt hurt herserlf. then when i go up stairsi find a bunch of sleeping pills..etc in a bag on the floor, easy reach for my kid. we have gone over this a thousand times with her thathereis a two yr old in the house and she neds to be repectful. On top of everything else that she has done, i honestly can nottake it anymore, her dad doesnt want to have the guilt of kicking her out because he was absent in her life for so long.But i honestly do not want to wait around for the next mistake she makes that will hurt my daughter. she has made it so hard for us to welcome her in the home. Well we got into a heated argument yesterday, i was going to give her til the nd of the month..But she got an attitude and we raised voices, so i told her she needed to be out by this wkend. And what i an afraid of more than anythng, is that this is going to effect my marraige? is he going to hate me later on for kicking her out, i know i will never hear the end of it with his family. Its my house and i felt that i needed to put my foot down cause he honestly never does, and i am the one to deal with it all day long.. Please give me advice!

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by AnnieCarter submitted 31 weeks 3 hours

ok here is an update.. Hopefully someone can help because now i am unsure. Ok Just yesterday i had to finally put my foot down, mind you the husband and i talked about it that morning and i told him i was telling her she needed to move out.She has put my daughter in harms way too many times, she for one carelessly always leaves her cig and lighters around for her to get ahold of, we told her endless times not to, she throws cig butts all around our house ( we are no longer smokers) and my daughter always gets to them. she has left the bleach out and my daughter got it all in her eyes, she agreed to babysit her while i went to work for a few hrs.. i came home and hr early and she was asleep on the couch while my daughter had locked herself out in the mudroom ( for god knows how long) and the very LAST straw i have with her,. My daughter brought down an OPEN razor blade from upstairs. its a miracle she didnt hurt herserlf. then when i go up stairsi find a bunch of sleeping pills..etc in a bag on the floor, easy reach for my kid. we have gone over this a thousand times with her thathereis a two yr old in the house and she neds to be repectful. On top of everything else that she has done, i honestly can nottake it anymore, her dad doesnt want to have the guilt of kicking her out because he was absent in her life for so long.But i honestly do not want to wait around for the next mistake she makes that will hurt my daughter. she has made it so hard for us to welcome her in the home. Well we got into a heated argument yesterday, i was going to give her til the nd of the month..But she got an attitude and we raised voices, so i told her she needed to be out by this wkend. And what i an afraid of more than anythng, is that this is going to effect my marraige? is he going to hate me later on for kicking her out, i know i will never hear the end of it with his family. Its my house and i felt that i needed to put my foot down cause he honestly never does, and i am the one to deal with it all day long.. Please give me advice!

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by Moon Majumdar submitted 28 weeks 5 days

a razor blade.......bunch of sleeping pills.........no direction in life....No love or care even for a two year old cute girl--------

PLEASE check if she is a serious patient of DEPRESSION.

A WORD OF CAUTION:she may be SUICIDAL too.

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by Moon Majumdar submitted 28 weeks 5 days

a razor blade.......bunch of sleeping pills.........no direction in life....No love or care even for a two year old cute girl--------

PLEASE check if she is a serious patient of DEPRESSION.

A WORD OF CAUTION:she may be SUICIDAL too.

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