My step son is almost 8 years old. In December, we found out we were pregnant and when we were sure, we broke the news to him. He didn't seem interested at all. Over a month after he found out, his mother found out she was pregnant too. So he went from being the only child of 8 years to having 2 little brothers or sisters.
The relationship between my boyfriend and the mother is not good. My boyfriend and I put Dexter first in this case, when he comes here telling stories about things he did with his mom, we respond positively, "The zoo with your mom? That sounds like so much fun!" "Your mom's having a baby too? Well congratulations for her! Does she want a boy or girl?" etc, etc. We both believe it's in his best interest to never say anything negative about her in front of him.
I am due at the beginning of August and she is due at the end of September.
But it seems to be the opposite in her home. When my boyfriend broke his arm, Dexter(my step son) apparently told his mother and her husband about it, in which they responded with laughter and praise that he had hurt himself. Dexter came here and told us how they reacted, and began to cry. He has also came over here saying his mother said that our baby is going to be retarded. We reassured him that that should not be the case.
I'm scared that she is saying all these negative things about our baby, basically brainwashing him into being excited about her baby, and having negative feelings about ours.
I want my step son to be involved in my baby's life, fully. I want them to share a special relationship like I have with my sisters. I love them both equally, very very much. How do I counter these negative things his mother puts in his head and get him to feel good about both of his siblings?