Thinking of throwing an after-birth party...

We adopted my son when he was three weeks old.  We had one week of advance notice that he was coming to us, so there wasn't any time for a baby shower beforehand.

After, I found out that a friend (not a close one) had decided to throw me a surprise baby shower.  I don't want to say I threw a fit - but I sort of did.  I was exhausted, stressed, hadn't showered in days, didn't have a stitch of clothes that weren't covered in baby spit-up, and the thought of going to a party - let alone one in my honor - was abhorrent. 

(Worse: it was at her house, well after my son's bedtime, and I'd fully been planning on skipping the "housewarming" she'd told me the part was.  My husband had never been alone with my son for more than an hour at a time, and I'd never been away from him for more than 45 minutes, so leaving the baby at home wasn't really an option.  Wouldn't THAT have been a pickle, had the guest of honor not shown up!)

Point is: don't plan on a party, not yet.  Wait until your baby is born, and then reassess.  Frankly, if you don't want people to visit you in the hospital, tell them not to visit you in the hospital.  Better yet: don't tell them which hospital you're in (which only works if there's more than one in your town, of course).  Best yet: you likely won't be in the hospital for more than a day or two.  If you're really scared that people will visit you in the hospital, wait until you're home before you tell anyone anything at all.