You are here

Get Answers

Sometimes it's nice to get advice from experts with a lot of letter degrees behind their names, but other times, you just need to hear what another parent (with a M.O.M. behind her name) has done that has worked. You've got questions? These moms have answers.
 
Ask a Question

A thought provoking question...hmmm?

7 answers
3 years ago
I like to discuss unique situations with friends and family. Here is a situation I'd like yall to read then comment on what to do for this caregiver. This is one I proposed. I am thinking about putting this story into a short pamphlet for a class i will be doing online for young teenage parents( they are overseas). I grew up overseas and this situation is to show the young girls how abuse(if you can classify this as abuse-i wouldn't do so) can start and what they can do to be better parents when their kids arrive! A caregiver losses her temper at the 19 month old the caregiver is watching, while she is trying to make up his big boy bed. he tries to climb on while she is making it(it is near his bedtime). She asks him to get off he does, then he comes back. This goes on for a while. Then the caregiver yells at him to get off the bed. A smack then follows on his bottom(just enough to get his attention), then his hand. She is FUMING at this time. She eventually picks up her child and looks at him and screams. Only a few minutes later did she realize what had happened and went and started crying. When she tried to put the baby to bed he would NOT look her in the eyes. After hour of sleep for the kid she goes and changes his diaper. In the process she wakes up the child and he gives her a smile and a hug, then goes back to sleep. She still feels guilty about what has happened. What should she do? She is willing to take parenting classes as stipulated by the parents who would LOVE to have her back. There were no injuries on the baby.

answers (7)

3 years ago
I think I missed something. Who are "the parents that want her back?" Was she living with her parents, and as a result of hitting her child is now not living with them?Also, maybe this isn't classified as abuse, but I think that all parents should realize that very young children need love and guidence. Yelling at and hitting a young child for doing things that young children do teaches young children to yell and hit when they are angry.Maybe the mom should have engaged the child by asking him to help make up his big boy bed instead of losing her cool.
3 years ago
Okay, I'm confused.  What do you mean by "make up his big boy bed"?  Do you mean actually put it together for the first time?  Or just make the bed?  Either way, I question why she'd do that so close to bedtime.  If the bed is new, OF COURSE the 19-month-old is going to want to check it out.  That's not being bad, that's toddler-style curiosity.  And even if it's not new, then to me, it sounds like the toddler was expressing that he was tired and ready for bed - in which case, why bother continuing to make it up? If you're going to turn this into a pamphlet for distribution (either overseas or at home - frankly, I don't understand why this matters in this scenario, and I HAVE lived overseas and plan to do so again), then you need to be a lot clearer in what's happened.  For starters, PARAGRAPHS.
3 years ago
Actually - I apologize for that last part.  I didn't realize that when posting a question, the website strips your paragraphs.  (What a stupid system!)  Not your fault, and I shouldn't have assumed so.
3 years ago
\sounds to me like you are saying that a "babysitter" smacked a child who was not her own. I would be fuming if it were me. Why was she trying to make the bed if it was almost betime anyways. was it really that important that the bed be made? The girl sounds like she needs some anger management to me. Children are very forgiving, a little too much sometimes and the girl should feel guilty.So anger management, maybe some parenting classes if she is going to chose to continue to care for this child and maybe get some heavy duty birth control and DO NOT have kids anytime soon until her rage is under control.
3 years ago
I think what they mean by make the bed is put fresh sheets on it. I would want my caregiver to tell me as the parent. She should absolutly tell the parents. If it was a minor a smack on the bottom (thats a spanking) she  shouldn't have too much to worry about. I certainly wouldn't fire a long standing baby-sitter we love because of a spanking, even though I don't believe in them. I would keep a very close eye on the care giver, maybe even buy a nanny cam. If the care giver was as upset as she seemed the guilt will eat away at her if she doesn't tell someone.
3 years ago
That is a hard one.  As a mom, I can tell you there have been plenty of times that I have lost it on my son- even as an infant! It is hard when you are sleep deprived and your child is being very demanding.  There have been maybe 2 occassions that I over-reacted. I did not hit or hurt him, but my anger was out of line with what he was doing.  With that being said- a babysitter, or nanny, is not with the child day and night, without a break for months on end.  All caretakers should have plenty of time away from the child they care for to relax, de-stress, etc.  So, I do not think it was reasonable that she hit the child. Even if she did feel guilt, the compacity to allow your anger to rise to that level is still there.  If there was more to the relationship with this person, I could see allowing her to remedy the situation by attending a parenting class or something of the sort but in my honest opinion, I would just find someone else. 
3 years ago
That is a hard one.  As a mom, I can tell you there have been plenty of times that I have lost it on my son- even as an infant! It is hard when you are sleep deprived and your child is being very demanding.  There have been maybe 2 occassions that I over-reacted. I did not hit or hurt him, but my anger was out of line with what he was doing.  With that being said- a babysitter, or nanny, is not with the child day and night, without a break for months on end.  All caretakers should have plenty of time away from the child they care for to relax, de-stress, etc.  So, I do not think it was reasonable that she hit the child. Even if she did feel guilt, the compacity to allow your anger to rise to that level is still there.  If there was more to the relationship with this person, I could see allowing her to remedy the situation by attending a parenting class or something of the sort but in my honest opinion, I would just find someone else. 

Vertical Tabs

*DISCLAIMER
Parenting.com's Answers are provided by members of our community. While your fellow moms and our editors have plenty of great advice to offer based on their experience, it is not a substitute for professional medical help. Always consult a medical professional when seeking medical advice. All submitted answers are subject to the rules set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use