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Toddler Sibling Rivalry

Behavior

Toddler Sibling Rivalry

We're expecting our 2nd child in 3 weeks, but we also have a 1yr old (14mth apart!) we worry about sibling rivalry, the other day my wife's friend came over w/ her new born and our daughter acted jealous (pulling at her mothers arm/didn't want her to hold him) tried to pick the baby up by his shirt (like a doll) and attempted to sit on him in his car seat. She isn't this way w/ either of her 2 cousins (5mth older & 3mth younger) as she gets excited to see them. Sadly there is very little (nothing) to be said about preparing a baby/toddler for a new born. Any tips or experience to share?
asked by Sidneyloveshiskids 1 year 40 weeks ago
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answers (2)
BEST ANSWER
by KayKaysMommy submitted 1 year 40 weeks

My daughters are about 17 months apart. I was concerned about this too, but they really took to each other so well.

My suggestions are these steps

first just explain to her what being a big sister is all about. The fun stuff that comes with having a little sister. She may not understand it all but she might understand more than you think.

second when the baby comes, have a plan for the introduction. A hospital might be overwhelming and scary for a youngster. When I had my oldest daughter my God Daughter came to visit and was very scared and upset that the new baby (hurt me) so you need to decide if thats a concern for your daughter. Or if you have an option.

Third is including her in the new babies caretaking. My daughter loved to run clean diapers to me when I was changing her. She would always bring me my Boppy for feeding time, and she loved to play with her and entertain her when she was laying on her mat or in her swing.

The last thing you can really do is spending some one on one time with your oldest. My oldest and I still go on Mommy and Me dates 2 times a month and I love every second of it. Even if its five minutes just make sure she knows you love her so much.

Don't worry too much about it. My brother and have a year and half age difference and we have been best friends our whole lives. I still to this day can tell him anything. My daughters are inseperiable, my biggest concern is how they will do when it comes time for school to start and they will be seperated. One last thing I did for my daughter was her godmother bought her a baby doll and stroller with some other things I used so she could do the same things I was doing. Good Luck.

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by VforVenture submitted 1 year 40 weeks

My kids are 18 months apart and we've never had any problems with jealousy. We started preparing my daughter for the arrival of her baby brother pretty early on. She had always loved babies and was always very interested in them. I explained that I had a baby in my tummy and I encouraged her to talk to/tickle/blow raspberries on the baby. She loved that she got to play with him before he was born. We also got her some baby dolls and helped her play with them gently. She enjoyed pushing them in their stroller, rocking them, putting them to bed, etc. We even set up the crib, swing, bouncy chair, etc. early so that she could get used to all the new stuff. She would put her babies in the swing our bouncy chair to play. When my son was born she got to spend one night in the hospital with us so that she could understand that he was a new member of our family. That made it easier on her than just bringing a new baby home out of nowhere. 

Once he was home she would take care of her babies while I took care of her brother. All the "training" that we did with her made her very excited to finally meet our new baby. She was always happy to bring us blankets or pacifiers when we needed one and she would help us in any way she could.

Now that I'm pregnant with our third baby our daughter is very excited once again and we're trying to get our son involved too. He's not as mature as our daughter was but he still like blowing raspberries on my tummy and we're keeping him as involved as we can.

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