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At what age do you start warning your child about "bad" things?

3 answers
1 month ago
so... we went to a water park last week and my almost 3 year old daughter set her flip flops under our chairs along with ours. Someone stole them. Now... if they had taken mine or my husband's... no sweat. Yeah, I would have bitched the whole way to the car that my feet hurt but I wouldn't have really cared all that much as I know that there are jerks out there who do jerk things like this. But... they stole a child's shoes, a child who doesn't understand that there are jerks in the world that don't care that the owner of those shoes had to be carried to the car crying about losing her new flip flops. I found myself stewing about this the entire way home. I was more upset that this jerk taught my little sweetheart that there are people like this. What do you say to a little child when you want to shelter them from things like this? I ended up buying the same flip flops and giving them to her and told her I found them... is this bad? or should I just open her eyes to the horrible world now? Is it wrong that I just don't want to show her that there are bad people out there yet? I love the carefree trusting innocence she has. I'm torn... I feel I need to warn her to protect her from REALLY bad things but to also the need to protect this innocence from changing.

answers (3)

1 month ago
is it possible that another 2 or 3 year old, toddled over, saw the adorable flip-flops and without permission took them. The parent might have had their back turned for just a moment, and didn't know where to return them. It is possible just as the bad person without a conscious stealing from a child scenario is possible. This is a perfect opportunity to teach your child about making choices and the outcome of good choices, bad choices and other options for choices. What else could this child have done instead of taking your shoes? How do you feel about your shoes disappearing? This is a perfect opportunity to start a dialogue with your child about decisions and outcomes. Because it was her flip-flops that were taken, she will remember the discussion for long time. Sue Rumack, Parent-The-Parent coach http://www.pulseofawakening.com/parent-the-parent.html
1 month ago
Good question... Little ones, 5 years old, don't actually know the difference between their reality and a lie. They will say what they feel as if it is true. A child sharing that the new step dad said Mommy doesn't love her is sharing her fear because to her that is her reality. This needs to be shared with Mom so that all three parents can reassure your child. If step-dad actually did say this, then Mom needs to know. Your child has gone through many transitions at an early age. She is voicing her insecurity and needs reassurance from everyone NOT punishment. Punishment will shut down her trust for those who punish her and reinforce that adults are not safe. This is an important time her development and yours. Well done for asking for support. Sue Rumack, Parent-the-Parent coach, http://www.pulseofawakening.com/parent-the-parent.html
1 month ago
Good question... Little ones, 5 years old, don't actually know the difference between their reality and a lie. They will say what they feel as if it is true. A child sharing that the new step dad said Mommy doesn't love her is sharing her fear because to her that is her reality. This needs to be shared with Mom so that all three parents can reassure your child. If step-dad actually did say this, then Mom needs to know. Your child has gone through many transitions at an early age. She is voicing her insecurity and needs reassurance from everyone NOT punishment. Punishment will shut down her trust for those who punish her and reinforce that adults are not safe. This is an important time in her development and yours. Well done for asking for support. Sue Rumack, Parent-the-Parent coach, http://www.pulseofawakening.com/parent-the-parent.html

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