what are some disciplinary ideas for a toddler or preschooler besides

When a toddler or preschooler is acting in a way that can be hurtful to themselves or others, they are often trying to meet a very basic need - usually food, sleep, freedom to explore, attention or closeness. They are not yet able (or are just learning) to express it in ways that we would like. It is our work as parents to Gently Help them learn better ways of communicating these needs. If you are unable to meet the need, try giving them empathy and support around it. At this age, children are developing the emotional centers of their brain and it is crucial that we support them emotionally. Giving them empathy does not mean that you agree with them, but you will be amazed at what happens when your child feels like you heard him. The best way to teach our children anything is through modeling. The practice of modeling empathy and respect when you interact with your children is the most effective way to teach them those values. Disciplining your child may get you what you want in the short term, but what will it get you (or your child) in the long term? 

In our culture, discipline usually means spanking or time out. Physical punishment teaches our children that "it's okay to hit." Also, making a child afraid will not make him or her a compassionate or ethical person but most likely the contrary. Time outs are a love-withdrawal technique and can cause great anxiety in children as they interrupt the bond between a parent and child. It poses a threat of abandonment or separation. Rewards destroy intrinsic motivation. Do you want your child act with consideration and compassion because he or she thinks they'll get a toy out of it, or because they have a real understanding of the values that you hold in your family? 

For more help and support, check out: http://www.theechocenter.org/