i can sympathize with the broken record syndrome. my 3 year old does the same thing. i agree with vforventure on the "bad" thing. don't tell him he's been bad. explain what he did wrong, and tell him why he can't do it. in toddler terms, of course. tantrums, screaming, and defiance are normal at this age. i know it's endless and frustrating, because i go through it on a daily basis with my daughter. it's in their nature to push boundaries. it's how they learn. if you're going to spank, don't do it out of rage. time-outs can be effective if you can be consistent about it. don't let him out early because you get tired of hearing him yell, and scream. you have to stop giving in to the tantrums. it's crucial for him to learn that it's not how he gets what he wants. all it takes is one time to give in,and then you have taught him that's what it takes. if you say no to something, stick with it. come hell, high high water, tantrums, whining, screaming, etc. if possible, let him know why he can't have or do something. when i'm feeding, or tending to my 6 month old,and my 3 year old wants something RIGHT NOW, i explain that when my task is complete, i will get it. sure, this enrages her, but she has to learn patience, and also that life doesn't revolve around her. i explain that she's not the only one in the house, and sometime other people need things before her.