As a parent, you must clearly tell the child that hitting, kicking, scratching, etc. are NOT acceptable. Be strong and consistent. Try "time out" or a loss of a priviledge, but do not give excessive attention to the child in reaction to that behavior. If you do, you are letting the child know that he/she can easily get that negative attention from you. Make sure you also model acceptable behavior and praise the child when he/she exhibits that acceptable behavior. Children will attempt to get parents' attention and will repeat what works. If you give undue attention to unacceptable behavior, that's what you will see. If you give praise and show your "happy face" when the child exhibits acceptable behavior, that is what you will see. When a child hit or kicks you, a simple and stern "No! That is not nice!" statement (with your "not happy" face) will work, then you can take the child's hand, gently stroke your face with his/her hand, and say, "That's nice! Gentle and soft!" And use your "happy face" to show your acceptance. If the child continues to be violent, put him/her in time out, playpen, or some other secure place that is away from you and your attention. (*Make sure the child is safe; do not leave the child unattended/unsupervised!) I am concerned about the "I want to kill you!" statement. You might need professional help on that one. You must first determine where he/she got that idea. Discuss that idea with the child and make sure that he/she understands exactly what that means and why it's not acceptable.