I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post, but wanted some guidance from other parents. My ex-wife passed away last week suddenly and we have had 50/50 custody of our 5 year old son and 4 year old daughter. I also have a 12 year old son from a previous marriage. She was like a mom to him and they were pretty close, he was 7 when we married. I spoke for quite a while with a Children's Grieving center the day I learned about it and informed the children with a close family friend that their mother had passed away, per their recommendation not to wait. It was very hard and I realize they're very young and it's kind of off and on for them what happened to mommy. My oldest is pretty strong with it, he's sad, but doesn't really show it. Mom's funeral is this Sunday and I was told that the children need to attend to gain some closure of sorts to what happened to mommy. I understand that and I understand the need for them to have some finality to her death and what's truly happened.
I am only concerned about the effects it might have on them to see her. I've been slowly explaining how when people get sick, sometimes their bodies stop working, etc and what a funeral is and its ok to cry, some people mourn (cry) and some people remember the person in life and may laugh remembering, etc. so that they have an idea of what they will experience. I'm just concerned about our children and even though we were divorced, in recent months we became close friends and resolved all of our petty differences and spent time together with the children often. Although she was responsible for her passing, she was always a good mother to them, very loving. I haven't begun dealing with this myself, my concern is only for my children right now and their well-being.
Anyone with advice, please let me know how to proceed with their attending her funeral.