The Blunder Years?
Life with a tween, boy or girl, can be baffling, challenging, and a little scary sometimes -- but it's also rewarding. "It's been fun to watch Eliza's interests and talents emerge as she comes into her own," says Rhodes. "It's also extra gratifying when she wants to cuddle or chat."
Some tips to help you both make it safely to the other side:
Maintain Your Parental Status This is not the time to try to be your child's friend. Despite appearances to the contrary, "he's looking to you to help him get through this confusing stage," says Linda Sonna, Ph.D., author of The Everything Tween Book. "Ultimately, he'll take his cues for how to behave from the way that you deal with a given situation."
Draw Clear Lines in the Sand You'll need to come up with some new rules as your tween exercises his growing independence. Start by figuring out what's most important to you, like right and wrong, honesty, and grades, and let go of stuff that doesn't matter in the long run-keeping his room neat or wearing clean socks.
Then "make sure your kid knows where the nuclear switch is," says Jhoanna Wade, a mom of three, including a now 13-year-old, in New York City. "I'll ignore eye-rolling or heavy sighs, but my daughter knows that it's crossing the line to raise her voice or walk off in the middle of a conversation."
Same goes in the Blanchfield household: If Kyle keeps acting up after his mom tells him that his behavior is not okay, she'll often ask his stepdad to reinforce the message that he needs to listen to his mother and act in a more appropriate manner around his baby sister. Communicate as clearly and as calmly as you can as soon as any un-acceptable behavior begins. Try not to wait until it's out of control and your kid is screaming that he hates you.
