You are here

71 New-Mom Truths

More new-mom truths

23. You will overbundle your tyke for winter outings.

24. You will call out to your hubby as he's taking the baby for a walk, "You have your cell on you, right?"

25. You will get sick of hearing yourself say, "I didn't get to it yet."

26. You will feel naked when you walk outside alone.

27. You will wonder if you could possibly love another child as much as you love this one.

28. You will put your sweet pea in the ugliest outfit he's got, take an obligatory photo, and send it to the distant relative who purchased the fashion disaster.

29. You will rejoice when the baby's bald spot finally fills in. Now if only there were something to do about her mullet.

30.You will call your new-mom friend to say that your baby has a runny nose and has sneezed twice, and that if she wants to reschedule your play date, you'll understand.

31. You will come up with a soothing mantra -- for yourself -- for when you take your child's rectal temperature.

32. You will get peed, puked, or pooped on when you have nothing handy to change into.

33. You will pack everything your baby could possibly need for a weekend and forget your own eyeglasses or toothbrush.

34. You will need to leave the house and have your husband stay home if and when you let the baby cry it out for the first time.

35. You will detest traffic -- it means you're either late getting back home to your child or stuck in the car even longer with a fusspot.

36. You will slide a picture of your bambino on top of the wedding photo in your wallet.

37. You will get takeout for dinner (again) just so you can take your baby to the park and hear her coo and giggle on the swings.

38. You will crack up when you see your kid get down to music for the first time.

39. You will chat intimately with complete strangers on the grocery checkout line just because they are pregnant or have a small child.

40. You will e-mail friends and family pictures of the baby, always noting that if they want to stop receiving the updates you'll totally understand.

41. You will confess to your hubby whenever you do something not-so-smart with the baby, to ensure he doesn't make the same mistake.

42. You will find yourself saying "I only have one child so far," as if you're apologizing for not having a brood hidden underneath your petticoat.

43. You will eagerly devour your first really spicy post-pregnancy, post-nursing meal.

44. You will catch your husband or partner being moved to tears by the baby.

45. You will feel so lucky to have a child when you catch up with a friend who's been struggling to get pregnant.

46. You will hear about criminals on the news and wonder what their moms are doing.

comments