#4 Fear
Spoiling the Baby
"I worry that I give in to what my baby wants so much that when somebody else tries to take care of him, it doesn't work. For example, I rock him to sleep, and it has become the only way he'll go down. I'm afraid I'm spoiling him!" —Kimberly Myers, Grand Rapids, MI

Parents often complain to me that their well-meaning mother, mother-in-law, babysitter, or friends warn them that they're going to spoil their baby by picking him up as soon as he cries, rocking him to sleep, or holding him more often than not. When enough people tell you the same thing, it's easy to believe them. After all, who wants a whiny, spoiled brat who cries until he gets what he wants? But let me assure you: It is impossible to spoil a baby. In fact, infants (especially in the first four months of life) need to be responded to promptly in order to feel safe and grow attached to you. Infants cry to express their very real needs, not to manipulate their moms and dads. Over my 35 years as a pediatrician, I've noticed that kids whose mothers respond to them quickly and lovingly — even if it's in a manner that other people might view as "spoiling" — grow up with the confidence to actually become less clingy and demanding as young children. If you're following your gut, you're in no danger of spoiling anyone.

#5 Fear
A Developmental Delay
"One of my biggest fears was that my son wouldn't reach milestones as fast as other babies we know. He was slower to crawl and walk than some of his baby buddies. Now the fear of when he will talk is upon me!" —Steph Cressman, Ellwood City, PA

Milestone charts often give specific ages for developmental achievements: Your baby will sit up at 6 months, they may say, and she will crawl at 9 months. In reality, there are "windows" when these milestones occur. For instance, it is considered normal for a baby to start to walk anywhere between 9 and 18 months. Indeed timing is one of the least important factors when assessing developmental growth. What is important? Progression. If your child is progressively building from one milestone to the next — she reaches for toys, then she brings them to her mouth, she rolls over, she crawls, she pulls up — then you have nothing to worry about. When your child reaches each individual milestone has nothing to do with her smarts or abilities — it depends on her temperament. An extremely active baby might cruise sooner than a mellow tot, but they'll both get there. Keep your own developmental diary of when your baby accomplishes each skill. As long as she is doing more each month than the previous one, consider your baby's development as normal for her.

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