School clothes can -- and should -- be playclothes. Our job is to keep your children happy and inspired, which often involves getting messy. No one here will judge you unkindly if your child doesn't look like she just stepped out of a Polo ad.

About goodbyes: A kiss, hug, and "Have a super day!" is all that's needed. With the exception of the beginning of the year, when your child is still getting adjusted, you shouldn't linger. If your child likes to know his schedule, one additional line about what you'll do after school ("We'll go to the park") can be helpful. And please don't sneak out. Your child will become more desperate to catch you, which ups the stress factor enormously. It's better to make a clear departure, even if he cries, because then he knows what's going on, which helps him feel more in control of the situation.

Lice can happen to anyone. You needn't be embarrassed. Just let me know so I can prevent an outbreak.

I'd appreciate it if you don't send in talking toys. Perhaps you're hoping they'll get lost, and I'm right there with you. By the way, I can't stand SpongeBob's laugh. There's nothing you can do about that -- I just needed to say it.

You do not need to give me a holiday gift. I will love your child no matter what. But if you do:

Skip the regifted Santa that swivels his hips and plays "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" every time someone walks by. If funds are a problem, a nice note is always lovely.

If you give me baked goods, please don't tell me that your child helped make them. I bake with your children, too, and I know the secret ingredients that go into their recipes.

Gift cards are not impersonal -- they're wonderful. Even in very small denominations.

I really, really don't need any more scented candles.