What your baby's going through: It's a catchall diagnosis for inconsolable crying in the early months of life and it's about the roughest introduction to motherhood one can imagine. While there's no easy or uniform explanation, typically babies are colicky because they may have either a digestive problem like reflux or an unpredictable temperament (or sometimes both) that makes it hard to establish feeding, sleeping, and soothing routines, says Amy Salisbury, Ph.D., a developmental psychobiologist at the Women and Infants' Hospital in Providence. (She's also the mom of two boys, both of whom had colic.) Whatever the reason, a colicky baby will probably become sleep deprived as well, which makes him even crankier.

What you're going through: Three or four months is a long time to spend feeling exhausted, frustrated, helpless, and inadequate. Salisbury says her oldest son, Steven, now 8, cried all day long his first month. "I felt cheated of special time with my baby because so much of my life was spent trying to soothe him or figure out what he needed."

Getting past it: Luckily for Salisbury, her pediatrician recommended giving Steven Mylanta whenever he was crying inconsolably to see if he might have reflux. "Sure enough, within five minutes of receiving the Mylanta, he stopped crying  -- nearly every time," she recalls. Salisbury also decided that establishing a routine when Steven was 3 months old would help her regain some semblance of control, and it ultimately helped him, too. "I started to keep him awake for two-hour stretches, which meant no car rides or stroller walks. Then I'd put him in his crib for a nap at the same time every day. The first day he cried a lot. But I continued this routine, and within a week he was napping at least an hour three times per day."

Many moms have found motion to be an effective soother for a crying baby, and Melissa Magee of Dover, Pennsylvania, found a way to make it pay off for her: "In the evening, when my daughter's colic was at its peak, I'd walk with her in my arms, facing forward and legs dangling, and sing to her. She'd usually look around for a while, then fall asleep. The walks also helped me lose my pregnancy weight," says Magee.

Don't try to be Supermom, either. Ask friends and relatives to pitch in with the housework or the baby, nap when the baby naps, and try to get at least a half hour of alone time a day. "Swaddle and comfort as much as you can, but if you've tried everything and your baby's needs are met, it's okay to put him down in the crib and walk away for a little while to give him some downtime," says Salisbury. "Sometimes babies get overloaded by us, just as we do by them."

Stephanie Wood, a mom of three, is working on a book about motherhood.

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