The He'll-Get-It-When-He's-Ready approach

If you're a very patient sort and don't have one of those infants who eat, sleep, and poop on schedule (okay, maybe he's even downright challenging), you may be content with taking this more laid-back attitude to bedtime. The continued sleep deprivation is tough, but you may feel that letting your baby cry is worse still. Plenty of us feel that way, or have babies who are just too sensitive to soothe themselves.

How it works: This method is the polar opposite of the drowsy tuck-in because the control is left up to the baby instead of you. If your child prefers rocking, you rock. If he prefers sucking, you nurse or rely on a stash of pacifiers. Let's be frank: Not many sleep experts will endorse this laissez-faire approach. Yet many parents follow it. Some get lucky eventually, but it may take quite a while  -- possibly past your baby's first birthday  -- before you can reclaim your nights. "Sometimes a baby will naturally let the parent know he's done with rocking or whatever crutch you've been using, but more often the consequence will be that it becomes tougher to break a habit the longer it has gone on," says Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D., a San Francisco psychologist and the president of Postpartum Support International. "Still, I tell parents that whatever you feel you must do now is fine. What we do when our babies are young doesn't set them up for life."

"The choice is up to you," agrees Dr. Weissbluth. "What matters is that you respect the individuality of the child." In other words, if you feel your baby needs the extra reassurance of having you there, go for it. Often, when these babies are ready, they have no trouble falling asleep on their own, and you can feel good that you held your child's hand along the way.

---