Behavior

Teaching Kids to Say "I'm sorry"

Encouraging empathy

By Jennifer Matlack, Parenting
 
Your preschooler whacks her playmate but doesn't think to say she's sorry, even when her pal starts crying. So does this mean you're raising a psycho? Not at all -- she's a normal preschooler who doesn't realize that other people have feelings, too. "Because preschoolers are still egocentric, they don't fully understand that their behavior can hurt another person," says Michele Nealon-Woods, a psychologist in Los Angeles. Teaching the art of apology helps younger children realize what it's like to stand in someone else's shoes -- empathy, in other words. Some easy ways to go about this:
  • Set a good example. When you owe your child an apology, look at her eye to eye and keep a serious expression on your face. This will get her attention and emphasize the importance of what you're saying, and she may begin to imitate you when she upsets someone.
  • Put her feelings into words. Offer a guess about how she felt when you lost your cool and snapped at her ("You were probably scared when I yelled at you"). By considering her emotions, you're demonstrating empathy.
  • Ask for specifics. If she needs to apologize, have her say what she's sorry about and why ("I hit Wally, and that made him sad"). She'll start to see cause and effect and realize that her actions can actually have a negative impact on people.


PRINT
Quick Poll

Would you let your tween go trick or treating with just a group of friends?

No way, there are too many weirdoes out there!
For a little while, but only during daylight hours.
Sure, as long as they keep in touch with me.


ADVERTISEMENT
Popular on Parenting.com
Popular on Parenting.com
 
Photo Galleries

Mom-Approved Websites for Kids

Moms in our community recommend these sites for safe, educational, fun online games.

promotion
 

Blog: Our Editors' Daily Fave

Maura make sense of the new study that says kids should be in rear-facing car seats until age 4. Lauren reveals what it's like to interview Kate Gosselin. Plus: would you wear sperm earrings? Updated frequently by Parenting and Babytalk Editors.

Blog: The Parenting Post

Mighty Maggie: "If you thought the difference between the Greatest Generation and the Baby Boomers was huge, take a look at the expanse between the Boomers and THEIR kids." Updated daily!

Can't Stand Their BFF?

How to deal with your child's pals that you don't like, whether they're scary, naughty, annoying, or mean.

Share Your Vacation Pix and Win!

Send us great family vacation photos and your best advice for traveling with a baby. Three moms will win a fab diaper bag!