"It's not fair."

Attempts to pry her 4-year-old son away from one last episode of his favorite show usually turn into major bedtime battles for Anne Eide of Columbus, Mississippi. "William will say, 'But it's not fair!' Then he'll cross his arms and stomp down the hall, come back again, and repeat, 'Mom, it's not fair.'" That's when Eide sometimes can't help but let loose with "Listen here, Mister, you either turn off the TV now or you won't watch it for a week!"

A better way to respond: On nights when she's a tad more patient, Eide uses a kid-friendly example to explain why he doesn't always get his way. "I say, 'Daddy doesn't want to be in school all the time, but right now he needs to.'" Translation: Even adults don't get everything they want. The approach usually works. "He looks at me kind of like, 'Oookay.' Then he goes and gets ready for bed," says Eide.

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, a mom of two and author of Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles, recommends asking your child to start over and try again with less irritating words, such as "Can we please talk about this?" or "Mom, I don't like that rule." Next time he complains that something's not fair, you can say, "Remember, we talked about this before. What words are you supposed to use instead?" Giving your child new ways to express himself makes him more likely to abandon the annoying ones.

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