Don't allow your child to come to school in plastic high-heeled shoes. Ever. Even if she screams.

I won't agree that it is deeply important for your 3-year-old to be moved up to the 4-year-old class, or that your 4-year-old is ready for kindergarten. I also won't write a letter to the school district attesting to this. Because here's the thing: Children don't always develop evenly. That means that the kid who is way ahead this month may slow down and be exactly where her peers are in six months' time. And that just because a child can already add and subtract, it doesn't mean she knows how to get along with her classmates. So putting a child with an older age group can be really stressful for her, for us, and, ultimately, for you.

If your child throws up after breakfast, chances are it's not a one-time event. Same goes for explosive diarrhea. Keep her home, and don't bother to tell me the babysitter decided to send her. I've heard that one before.

A Nutella sandwich, chocolate milk, and cookies is not a lunch. It is a small dessert buffet.

Try to trust me. If I tell you that your child could benefit from further evaluation in an area of development, realize that I would not say such a thing frivolously. (It is never easy to tell a parent that his or her child might have a problem, however minor it may be.) I see your child through the eyes of a teacher, as part of a group, and I'm not just thinking of him now, but also in elementary school. I want to make sure that if your child needs a little extra help, he gets it sooner rather than later. And it's not a big deal if he does; lots of kids get services like speech or occupational therapy. If you think I'm wrong, go see a specialist and then come back and let me know how off base I was. I'll probably be almost as relieved as you.