Development

Reality Check: Little Potty Mouths

Should I keep our daughter away from a potty mouth?

By Denene Millner, Parenting
 
Q. The 5-year-old next door is teaching our 3-year-old to say things like "butt" and worse. Is this just kid stuff, or should I keep our daughter away from her?

Relax -- the 5-year-old isn't evil. She's just trying out a couple of new and exciting words that got a rise out of a grown-up, and now she's having fun sharing something "forbidden" with another kid. I'm guessing neither of them has a clue what this stuff really means, though the older one probably has a more concrete idea than your child does.

What they do know is that using this language gets people to pay attention to them, which, of course, makes it more than worth repeating. If I had a nickel for every time Lila said "booty" or, even worse, shook hers in a suggestive manner in front of company, I'd be able to afford those Jimmy Choos I've been drooling over. Instead of busting up the friendship, have a talk with the mom -- nothing heated, just a simple heads-up that her child's been hipping your preschooler to some words you'd rather your kid not say. She probably already knows her child uses them (maybe she knows her kid learned them from her!) but isn't aware that she's holding class with your daughter. Armed with all the info, your neighbor will no doubt talk to her child. In the meantime, don't bother punishing the kids; they'll just use them more. Instead, the next time either child lets a profanity rip, say, "We don't say that." If they keep it up, ignore them. Soon enough, they'll see that it doesn't get a reaction out of you, and they'll stop.

Finally, a note about your child's older friend: Age difference can be tricky. She's got two years' development over your child, who may pick up on things she's not ready for. (Lila, 5, has begun shunning "baby" books and TV shows for the more mature fare her older sister, Mari, 8, favors.) To help stem the influence the older child may have, set up some playdates with kids your daughter's own age. Hopefully, her fellow preschoolers' vocabulary will be cleaner, too.



PRINT
Quick Poll

Risqué Halloween costumes are becoming more and more popular for preteens. Does this concern you?

Yes. Those costumes are way too grown up for kids.
It's no big deal. Halloween is all about dressing up.


ADVERTISEMENT
Popular on Parenting.com
Popular on Parenting.com
 
Photo Galleries

A Special Joy 2009: Kids With Down Syndrome Round 1

See photos of your snap-happy kids, who happen to have Down Syndrome, in honor of National Down Syndrome Awareness Month in October

promotion
 
Birthday Parties

31 Amazing Birthday Cakes

Blog: The Split

Evie: "Should I think about dating? I know there's no exactly right or wrong answer, but I'm wondering: Can you be separated and single at the same time?" Updated frequently.

Blog: Family Budget Boot Camp

Denene at My Brown Baby: "Even if Angelina wanted to find new ways to care for and style her African baby girl's hair, surely, she'd be at a loss, 'cause I sure am. And so we are left to our own devices. Black child hair care ain't easy." Updated Frequently!

Toys of the Year

We're giving away over $900 worth of the best toys! Enter BOTH giveaways once a day until December 14
Facebook

Overheard on Facebook

Donna: "I also got pregnant while planning my wedding. She was four months old when we said I do and I wouldn't have had it any other way :)"