Work - Family

Mom to Live By: Debbie Phelps

How she helped her son rise above ADHD and encouraged him to be a swimming super star

By Lauren Passell, Parenting.com
Photo provided courtesy of swimroom.com
 
 
See Also
We talked to Cody Linley about his newest project, Hannah Montana, and of course, his mom. - Parenting.com
Phelps reveals how he got started and how he stayed the course to become the winning-est Olympic swimmer, ever. - Parenting.com
Interview with The Real Housewives of New York City stars Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen about their upcoming book, The Urban Parent: Tales From a Real House in New York City - Parenting.com

What did you do at home to mitigate the problems?
Kids with ADHD need medication and behavior modification. I mean, whether they have ADHD or not they need boundaries, limitations, routine and consistency. That's what I tried to do with Michael. Every day after school, he would put his back pack in the same place in our house, maybe go shoot some hoops, come in for a nutritious snack, and then pack his bag for swim practice. He followed his daily schedule on a regular basis. He knew his stuff had to be done in order to go swimming.

So did you say to him "Michael, you can't go to swimming unless your stuff is done?"
The words "no" and "can't" aren't really in my vocabulary, so I would just say "before you go to swimming, you need to do your work. Are you able to accomplish that?"

So swimming helped him get organized.
Absolutely. Any sport teaches kids the characteristics and strengths they need – respect, responsibility, getting along with others, success, and taking unsuccessful moments and turning them around to something positive. The pool was really good for Michael. It's a huge rectangle with boundaries. In a pool, there are only so many places you can go. Just back and forth, back and forth. So he was always within his element, within his comfort zone.

What limits did his ADHD put on him?
I don't like to use the word 'disorder' when I talk about ADHD. A child with ADHD has many gifts -- they just need to channel their energies in the things they love.

Now that he's 23, do you ever notice ADHD behavior that is reminiscent of when he was little, in school, really struggling?
Since he was 11, I've noticed him go to the block with no cap and goggles, or be less focused than he should be. This Olympics, though, I noticed his ability to compartmentalize and focus. He would do his race, then move on to the next thing. It reminded me of when he was little and had to tackle his responsibilities before swim practice. He would do them one at a time, like it was all on a check list.

So that's why Michael could go to the Olympics and win eight straight gold medals in a row – even when people didn't think he could? He was compartmentalizing them?
Yes. It was just swim it. Done. Swim it. Done.

So what can parents do to encourage their kids? What did you do to encourage Michael?
Continuous praise and positive reinforcement. When something was wrong, we'd address it. I am a very open type of mom who likes to talk things out.



PRINT
Quick Poll

Do you loosen your rules about how many sugary treats your kids can have during the holidays?

Totally. Have at!
A little -- heck, we're indulging, too!
Nope. It's not healthy or worth the sugar meltdown.


ADVERTISEMENT
Popular on Parenting.com
Popular on Parenting.com
 
Photo Galleries

A Special Joy 2009: Kids With Down Syndrome Round 1

See photos of your snap-happy kids, who happen to have Down Syndrome, in honor of National Down Syndrome Awareness Month in October

promotion
 

Blog: The Daily Fave

Shawn: "Sure, it helps to know what a mucus plug is, but mostly guys need books that offers simple, streamlined, practical info that doesn't get bogged down with a lot of 'medical diagrams' or 'compound sentences.' Well have I got the book for you, Pops." Updated frequently.

Blog: The Parenting Post

Mighty Maggie: "I have been in charge of the family finances for about a year now and I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING." Updated Daily!

The Best Toys of 2009

We're giving away over $900 worth of toys! Enter BOTH giveaways once a day until December 14
Birthday Parties

31 Amazing Birthday Cake Designs

Sweet! The easiest, cutest cakes for boys and girls