Work - Family

Mom to Live By: Debbie Phelps

How she helped her son rise above ADHD and encouraged him to be a swimming super star

By Lauren Passell, Parenting.com
Photo provided courtesy of swimroom.com
 
 
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How did you teach Michael to deal with disappointments? Like if he was disqualified or something?
Six years ago he was in a meet at George Mason University and was trying to break the American record in the 100 meter freestyle. He didn't do it. He didn't talk to his coach afterward; he just came up into the stands to see me. I said "hi, Michael." He said "I'm upset." "I can see that," I said. "I wanted to break that record," he said. I told him, "You'll swim it again, and when you understand what you need to do to break the record, you will. Let's move on." It's how we talked the disappointment through.

When did you know that Michael would be great?
I was told when he was 11. To me, he was just a little kid swimming fast. He had lots of energy and wanted to execute it and be where the action was.

Was he different than the other swimmers?
Yes – he was way ahead of them.

But was he more serious than the other swimmers? Was he more intense or mature about his swimming?
He was always more serious about swimming than school work, which I didn't like. I always tried to connect academics and athletics. I told him he needed to do well in school so that he could swim in college. But he wasn't more mature than the other swimmers. He would beat everybody by several body lengths, get out of the pool, and then I'd see him making silly faces. He was still a silly little kid.

ADHD is hereditary -- do you have it? What about your other children?
The girls (Michael's two sisters) and I chuckle because it's in all three of us. It's just our energy levels, we are always moving around. When I was growing up, I definitely could have been diagnosed.

What makes you the most proud of Michael?
How humanistic, caring, and generous he is. If you tell him a secret, he won't tell anyone. He's trustworthy and has a love for kids. He also likes to give back to the people that helped him. He recently went back to see his high school principal. How many 23 year olds do that?


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