"Me" Time

Three words: Ditch the guilt. Moms tend to feel pangs about doing something for themselves on the weekend — but they shouldn't. "It restores your energy," says Valorie Burton, a life coach in Annapolis, Maryland, whose latest book is How Did I Get So Busy? "When you've got more energy, you have a more positive attitude — and then you're a better mom and a better person to be around." How to get more "me" time? Delegate — to your mate, your mom, whoever can pitch in. If you're the type to hover while your hubby changes that Huggie, leave the house, pronto. (Experience is the only way he'll get the hang of things, after all.) Go have your hair cut or hit the gym. If you choose the latter, don't worry when you lack a big chunk of workout time. "Some is better than none," says Cathy Moxley of Germantown, Maryland, an exercise physiologist, mom of three, and author of The Busy Mom's Ultimate Fitness Guide. Interval training — where you alternate, say, three minutes of jogging with one minute of sprinting — makes the most of a brief workout.

To avoid resentment, be sure your spouse gets "me" time, too. Many couples adopt what Tiemann calls a "split family weekend": you scrapbook on Saturday morning, say, and he plays racquetball on Sunday afternoon.

2-for-1 "me" time and a friend Invite your sister or best friend to shop, exercise, or even do errands with you, Burton suggests. "Just say, 'I need to shop for X, Y, or Z — do you want to help me pick it out?" "me" time and warm fuzzies Moxley recommends lying on the floor and "bench pressing" your baby; doing squats while hugging him to your chest; and (fuzziest of all) doing forearm push-ups while he lies on his back below you — then kissing his nose each time you come down.

To Do or Not to Do

When it comes to weekend chores, errands, and projects, the experts agree: Put down that copy of Martha Stewart Living and back away slowly. "You have many chapters in your life, so don't stress yourself out by taking on too much when your kids are young," says Bria Simpson, a life coach and mom of three in Ridgewood, New Jersey, who wrote The Balanced Mom. "Figure out what you must do now, and put off any big projects you can, such as remodeling." Unless cooking is your main weekend event, rely on easy meals and foods (a roast chicken, say) that you can recycle in dishes throughout the week. Decorate less elaborately for holidays. Above all, don't clean so much. If the dust bunnies drive you nuts, or spark fights over whose turn it is to Hoover, consider hiring a professional. "It absolutely saved my marriage," says O'Rourke. On a budget? Experts suggest bartering for services or hiring a kid from next door.

For jobs you or your spouse finds crucial, it helps to list and divvy them together, Kovarick says. "Then it's a partnership," she says, rather than a case of one parent (usually the mom) nagging the other. Do errands early in the day if you can. "I make a detailed list the night before, and we get up and out by 9 a.m.," Acosta says. "Fewer people at the stores means in and out faster!"

2-for-1 errands and playtime "To make errands fun, I let my daughter think she's making choices at the store," Acosta says. "'Do you want apples? Should we get red or green? Let's count them — one, two, three red apples!'" Kovarick suggests packing a couple of baby toys to amuse your kid while waiting in line — and maybe a picnic blanket so you can play or read a few books on the grass outside together while, say, the cobbler fixes your shoes.

Time to Breathe

When stuff you want to do falls off your weekend list (and it will), calm reflection can help, says psychologist Diane Dillon, Ph.D., a New York City mom of three and coauthor of Mommy Mantras: Affirmations and Insights to Keep You From Losing Your Mind. "At all times, I have a weekend list of fifty things that I'd like to do," she says. "Just things like writing in the baby book and downloading all the new baby photos. None of that got done this past weekend, which made me feel stressed-out." So she took deep breaths and repeated a favorite mantra: "Lighten up, and limit drama." As a result, she says, she felt more in control. If you work at home, experts say, apply this mantra to weekend business as well. Give yourself defined work time and R&R time.

One Saturday a while back, I did almost nothing. Lounged in my PJ's with the family. Ate store-bought cookies. On Sunday I power-walked down a shady path in our town known as the Huckleberry Trail, with now 8-month-old Lily strapped to my chest. Big bro Davey biked ahead of us while my husband jogged beside him. Now and then, we spotted people we knew and paused to say hi. Family time and "me" time and time with friends: Holy cow, I thought, it's a three-in-one! The best, most rejuvenating kind. Sure, I hadn't done half the things I'd hoped to that weekend — those Ikea chairs were still in their boxes — but that was okay. By nighttime, I knew, I'd be lifting my head just fine.

Babytalk contributing editor Melissa Balmain is a writer and mother of two in Blacksburg, Virginia.

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