People love to give moms advice. Sometimes it seems like the whole world wants to weigh in on what makes a "good mother" ... and why you're not measuring up. But the truth is, good mothers come in many styles. Each one of us has different strengths, interests, and values that make us great moms. So don't get down on yourself when you see that mom in the park playing peekaboo with her baby for two hours straight just because you prefer a more hands-off approach (watching your little guy explore on his own, say). That mom has a mothering style that works for her, and you have one that works for you  -- one that's just as good. Once you recognize and embrace your own personal parenting style, you can stop trying to live up to everyone else's expectations and get on with the business of enjoying being a mom!

The new book MotherStyles: Using Personality Types to Learn to Parent From Your Strengths, by Janet Penley with Diane Eble, helps you do just that. The book outlines 16 different styles of mothering, based on the 16 personality types defined by the classic Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test. You may already know your Myers-Briggs type (many people take the test in college or at their job); if you don't, take the quiz below to get a sense, or go to www.MotherStyles.com for a sample test. Then, find your type on the following list (adapted from the book) and read about all the special qualities you have to offer your child and how you can capitalize on them.

You no longer have to covet your neighbor's mothering style!

The mom-style quiz
Pick which side you better relate to on each of these four main personality dichotomies:

Extroversion (E) vs. Introversion (I)
Extroverts derive their energy by turning outward to other people, going to parties, working with others, and meeting new people. They learn by doing and tend to think out loud. They prefer being a part of the action.
Introverts are energized by turning inward to the world of ideas and reflection. They like to think things through and emphasize reflection rather than action. It's not that Introverts don't like or need other people; they do. But many relate best with friends and coworkers one-on-one.

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)
Sensing types trust, primarily, the kind of information they get from their five senses  -- what they can see, feel, taste, hear, and smell. They focus on the facts, and pay more attention to "what is" rather than "what could be."
Intuitive types consider their five senses only as a jumping-off point, instead placing their trust in information that comes from hunches and reading between the lines for hidden meanings and patterns. They focus on the future, anticipating "what could be" rather than "what is."

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
Thinking types base their decisions on logic and objective analysis, trusting their head to make a good choice. Words like logic, objectivity, competence, justice, and fairness resonate with Thinking types.
Feeling types base their decisions on more personal and subjective criteria, giving primary consideration to the impact their decisions have on people, including themselves. They tend to trust their heart.

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)
Judging types like an orderly lifestyle with schedules and structure. They like to follow organized plans and check things off their to-do list.
Perceiving types prefer to go with the flow and keep their options open. They may start the day with a to-do list, but it's more of a backup plan in case nothing else comes up.

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