From family-focused to executive moms

The know-thyself mother (INFJ)
Sensitive and family-focused, the INFJ mother encourages the unique potential of each child. Her aim is to help her kids develop a sense of identity, and she seeks a free exchange of feelings and thoughts to that end. In fact, she may value the mothering experience as a catalyst to her own personal growth. She is conscientious and intense, as well. Probably no one takes child-raising more seriously than the INFJ. She approaches it as a profession requiring her best self.
Stay-sane tip: Make time for yourself, try to live in the moment, and take life a little less seriously. Instead of trying to make life what it "should be," enjoy it for what it is.

The kids-r-fun mother (ENFP)
Playful and energetic, the ENFP mom finds her kids to be good company. In fact, she says being with them justifies her own being a kid again. She loves introducing her children to the joys of life and is something of a free spirit, less concerned with rules and routines, and more inclined to give her kids plenty of free time to play and explore. She's an empathetic supporter of her children (as well as her mate and many friends), and encourages their individuality through a great variety of experiences.
Stay-sane tip: You need a release for your own emotional stress. Weepy movies and books and heart-to-hearts with friends can do you a lot of good.

The tuned-in mother (INFP)
Aware, astute, and understanding, the INFP mom is sensitive to her kids' feelings and needs. Responsive and helpful, she tends patiently to those needs as they arise. But she's comfortable letting her kids follow their own course and make their own choices, offering insight to head off trouble along the way. The INFP takes vicarious pleasure in watching her kids enjoy childhood and is happiest creating pleasant, memorable times for them.
Stay-sane tip: You function at your best when you have long blocks of unstructured time  -- time to deal with the unexpected, loll around with your baby, and pursue creative projects.

The heart-to-heart mother (ENFJ)
Expressive and warm, this mom is adept at talking about feelings, both her kids' and her own. Tuned in to each child as a unique person, she nurtures them through praise and encouragement. An efficient family manager, the ENFJ provides day-to-day structure and direction. She's also socially adept, and strives to keep her kids connected to family, neighborhood, and the larger community.
Stay-sane tip: Use humor to temper your natural intensity. Harmony can be restored quickly if irritations are turned into family jokes.

The individual-integrity mother (INTJ)
This mom is introspective, defining her own success from within, and is generally confident in her decisions. She's unlikely to be persuaded by her kids' saying "But all the other moms are doing it." She's competent in providing for her kids' basic needs, but she's likely more focused on building their confidence. She puts great importance on independent thinking and self-sufficiency. This mom works hard and takes life seriously; she lives for those moments when she can impart knowledge and offer her kids new perspectives on life.
Stay-sane tip: It's essential for you to have a project to call your own. If you don't have a job, try volunteering to meet your need for mental stimulation and adult conversation.

The independence mother (ENTP)
Energetic and self-assured, the ENTP mom encourages her children to be independent and confident. A big-picture person, she points out options and possibilities along the way, but wants them to learn the consequences of their own decisions. The ENTP is also action-oriented. She likes going places and doing things with her kids, exploring all life has to offer. She's less concerned with rules and routines, and more interested in challenging her kids with new activities.
Stay-sane tip: You need stimulation and variety. Paid or volunteer work is often a necessity for you, but if that's not possible, make plenty of social plans with friends.

The love-of-learning mother (INTP)
Intellectually curious and patient, the INTP mom loves to learn things together with her kids. Whether they're at the zoo or a store, she answers their "whys" with in-depth responses. She considers their questions and ideas as she would those of a peer, fostering self-esteem. This avid reader allows kids the freedom to do for themselves and quietly encourages them to believe they can.
Stay-sane tip: Allow yourself lots of time to lose yourself in reading and reflection. It may feel like you're doing nothing, but that "mind time" is very important for you.

The executive mother (ENTJ)
This mom organizes the needs and schedules of the whole family. Within her system, she provides her kids with direction and limits, but also gives them space to develop independence. A problem-solver, she listens to her kids' concerns and then strategizes with them about how to improve the situation  -- either by intervening on their behalf or letting them do it on their own.
Stay-sane tip: You need to realistically examine  -- and then reject  -- the myth of the Supermom. Accept your vulnerabilities, and you'll enjoy parenting more.

Excerpted from MotherStyles: Using Personality Types to Learn to Parent From Your Strengths, by Janet Penley with Diane Eble (May, Da Capo Press).

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